I'm a Fool for Love
by lovestruck001
Summary: Meredith finally decides to be happy and give Nathan a try - but after holding off for so long, can she finally let her walls fall? Takes off after 13x21.
1. Chapter 1

The hotel wasn't that nice. Nathan normally wouldn't have minded – he'd slept in far worst than this unmemorable establishment, but for Meredith's sake, he cringed as the bed creaked loudly under his weight. Meredith didn't seem to notice, as she immediately started unpacking her suitcase.

"I need a shower. Draining someone's epidural hematoma with a straw isn't exactly a sterile procedure" she said as she gathered her things, heading into the bathroom. Nathan hoped it was at least clean, although judging by the layer of dust on the nightstand this was debatable.

The sound of the shower made Nathan realize he should probably wash off the stench of airplane, combined with his own nervous sweat and the bodily fluids of who knows how many people. Normally, he'd jump right in with a woman he was dating – but with Meredith, he wasn't even sure they were "dating". He didn't want to push her – he'd been letting her call the shots, which judging by their bathroom quickie and her decisive request for one hotel room tonight, was working out well for him.

He stripped his sweater off, feeling at least cleaner in his unstained t-shirt. His bandaged hand stung, probably requiring more than some cheap plasters to keep it clean. The flight attendant had pulled out the good ones – the ones they reserved for the crew instead of the cheap first aid kit variety. She'd liked him, he could tell from when he'd asked her name as he boarded the flight, although she'd confirmed it at the end with her insistence of seeing him for follow-up. Nathan would've normally taken advantage. After Megan, he'd taken advantage of a lot of women who were drawn to his brooding, affable ways. But lately, he didn't really have it in him – sex was easy he'd realized, but finding something more than a warm body was hard. Finding someone like Meredith was even harder – someone who made him believe maybe he could have a family again.

"There's no more hot water." She stated unapologetically, coming out of the bathroom in her pajamas, her hair still damp. Nathan smirked, noting that she'd used both their towels so even if there was water left he'd have no choice but to use the face towels to dry off, which may have been her intention for all he knew.

"Well I guess you're stuck with smelly me all night then." He said as she sat down on the bed beside him. He'd stripped off his pants and socks, sliding under the covers in his briefs. For the first time, he felt mildly awkward with Meredith. She'd finally let herself be happy. Despite her statement on the tarmac, she'd even held his hand, just briefly on their airport shuttle ride. But he wasn't any closer to knowing where he stood with Meredith Grey.

Meredith closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of cleanliness that came after a scalding hot shower. She was acutely aware of Nathan in the bed with her, his legs pressed against her's on shoddy double bed. They'd never actually been in a bed together, she realized. When she'd jumped him in the parking lot at the hospital, it was in her car, which although spacious wasn't really meant for contortionist poses. She hadn't been in bed with another man since Derek, she realized. That thought should scare her, but it didn't. After all, if she split all the things she did into "before" and "after" Derek, life would be pretty hard to manage.

"We wouldn't be together. If he was still alive now. I don't think we'd still be married." It was the first time she'd said that out loud. She didn't even know why she'd brought it up now. She'd thought it – once the grief and pain of losing Derek had washed away, once Ellis was born and life settled back into normalcy. She yearned for the Meredith and Derek they once were, the loss of the potential to ever go back there – before DC, before another woman answered her husbands phone. The truth was she'd been Derek's shadow for too long. They were splintering apart, the foundations of their Post-it note marriage cracking – because being with Derek and being Meredith Grey were two mutually exclusive choices. As Cristina had pointed out to her, to be with Derek meant being a supporting character in someone else's story. As much as Meredith loved him, she was still her mother's daughter, ingrained with a tenacity and will for medicine that often outlasted her relationships.

"There was another woman. Maybe. And just…so much of me that I had to give up to be with him. It was worth it for awhile, for a long time there was still some form of compromise. But Derek had his own visions of what he wanted and there was no room in them for me to be anything but his doting wife. We loved each other – he was and always will be my great love. But love isn't always enough." She couldn't believe she was telling Nathan this. Something about him made her at ease. Something about this whole situation – the ridiculousness of what had gone on in the airplane, the fact that they were alone out here with no chance of Maggie or Owen interrupting – made her feel like she was free to say whatever she wanted. There was also something about him. Maybe the fact that he knew the pain of losing your partner; that distinct feeling of waking up every morning and for one minute forgetting they're gone, living in that fantasy for a short 60 seconds before the crushing wave of reality hits. That every morning, the wave gets a little smaller but it never truly goes away. No one else knew – I mean Owen and Alex and Arizona had been left behind too, but this was different. There was a finality about death that made the pain a constant, nagging thorn in your side.

"I get that. I don't think Megan and I would still be together if she was alive. It was like fire and ice – when it was good, it was completely intoxicating. But when it was bad…let's just say that despite working in an active warzone, sometimes our yelling was the loudest noise around". Nathan didn't like talking about Megan. He'd spent years hoping from war zone to war zone, meeting new people for brief periods of time, making sure he never got to know someone well enough that they'd ask about his past. These were great lengths to go to to avoid talking about someone. But now in Seattle, he'd gotten comfortable with his new co-workers and even made friends. He couldn't run away anymore.

"Why did you cheat on her?" She was anything but subtle. Having been the other woman, she knew it wasn't always some sordid horror story. Nathan didn't flinch – he'd expected this, that Owen would've told her and that eventually she'd ask.

"It was a messy night. We'd just had this colossal fight – after weeks of continuous conflicts and no way to get some space from each other on the crowded base. Megan was fiery and gave no considerations to how others interpreted her behaviours. Half of our squadron was in love with her and that translated into a lot of flirting, which she deemed innocent. It drove me nuts. I'm not a jealous man, but coupled with the underlying tension and the sleep deprived, hellhole we were working in, I snapped. Called her names, which resulted in her losing it on me. I went out that night with some of the guys from the hospital, including Owen. Had enough whiskey to drown a horse and ended up getting into bed with a nurse from the hospital. Biggest mistake of my life. Megan caught us the next day, on her way to apologize. Then she…got on a helicopter" Nathan leaned back on the bed, suddenly feeling exhausted from this day, from everything that had happened in the last few years of his life.

"We all do stupid stuff we regret." Meredith said simply. She didn't judge him – God knows tequila had made her take part in more than a few bad decisions herself. She looked up at Nathan, noticing his handsome features seemed dulled, his hair flat. He looked tired and despite his cheery demeanor throughout the flight, she knew this day had been a long one for him too.

She slid over, covering the small distance between them quickly. She ran her hand down his jawline, the day old stubble rough against her skin. He looked up at her, blue eyes meeting hers as their lips touched. This kiss was different – not hungry and starved for attention like the bathroom romp, nor filled with confusion and longing for someone else, like the parking lot encounter.

"You know, I never thought that story would earn me a kiss." Nathan grinned as Meredith climbed onto his lap. She silenced him quickly, pressing her lips into his and running her fingers through his hair. She always had a thing for men with great hair, she realized. Nathan's hands found her waist, sliding her pajama top away to meet bare skin. He was growing hard already, with her sitting on his lap, happy to have ditched his constraining pants earlier. She pulled away first, taking a moment to toss off her shirt. Taking the cue, Nathan wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her up to make short work of her pajama pants. Once done, he looked up at her, completely naked in front of him. He realized he'd never seen her life this – their previous times together, they'd both only exposed the parts necessary to get the job done. The constant threat of a curious passerby kept them partially clothed, for a quick escape if necessary.

"Mmm you're beautiful." he said, leaning down to take her nipple in his mouth. She sighed heavily, letting herself fall completely onto him, shying away from his piercing eyes. Meredith didn't feel beautiful these days. Often she felt like a used car on a lot full of new ones – having kids changed you, both mentally and physically. She'd seen Amelia naked more times than she could count, thanks to her sisters complete disinterest in modesty. Even Maggie had popped out of the shower in a daze during their early morning rush for work, completely unaware of her nakedness. She knew she stilled looked good but seeing her sisters and their young, unscarred bodies made her more aware of her own flaws – her C-section scars, the gash from giving her liver to her father, the less noticeable appendectomy scar. All blueprints from a life full of love, death, friendship and family. She flinched when Nathan's hands ran across a scar along her back, a remnant of her last airplane disaster.

"Let me see you." he said, turning them over as a unit so that he ended up on top. She could feel how hard he was against her leg, yet he was being so patient. They'd never had the time for this – it was nice. She rolled them over and reached down into his briefs, the weight of his cock filling her hand. She felt him twitch and catch his breath. There was something so primal about a man in this moment, she thought. Meredith had always loved sex and wasn't shy about it. The aspect of control, of being the one to give and take away someone's desire appealed to her. She stroked him firmly, feeling him grow even bigger in her hand and feeling herself get wet at the anticipation of what was to come.

"You're killing me Grey." Nathan moaned, kicking his briefs off as she stroked him. He hadn't been with anyone but Meredith since that time in the parking lot. This moment had been the source of many of his self-pleasuring sessions lately – imagining Meredith Grey stroking him, taking him in her mouth and finishing him off. And now it was happening – she leaned down and replaced her hand with her mouth, taking extra care to lap at the pre-cum running down his shaft. He closed his eyes, enjoying the fantasy coming to life.

"Enough sleeping on the job, Riggs." Meredith interrupted his moment, sliding up his body with a smirk. She kissed him hard, hovering over his poised cock. He slid his fingers between her legs, causing her to gasp as his fingers found her clit. She was soaked, her wetness dripping down her thighs. She'd been wet before, in the airplane bathroom – he'd slid right in with no resistance despite the hurried nature of their encounter. But this was different; this was for him and not for the exhilarating risk of joining the mile-high club.

"Tell me you want me." It was cheesy and he knew it, but he wanted her to say it. She gave him a sideways glance, having her perfect her disapproving Riggs stare from day one. But it was harder to maintain when he was knuckle deep inside of her, two fingers rubbing that spot inside just right; while she was trying to decide if she should ride his hand to bliss or hold out for his thick cock.

"You know I do." She couldn't say much more, already so close. At the last minute, he pulled his hand away with a wet pop. Meredith groaned – she was so close. She didn't always come from sex – even with Derek it took time and persistence for her to get into the moment and out of her head. Taking it away when it was so close was cruel.

"I think about this a lot, ever since the parking lot." Nathan said, as he positioned his cock right at her opening. Meredith tried to slide down, yearning for the feeling of him stretching her in. He was big, bigger than anyone she'd been with, particularly his girth. She'd never admit it, but even before she'd jumped him in the parking lot, she'd notice it – the bulge in his scrub pants was impressive and she'd wondered how something that big would feel inside of her.

"You don't know how many times at the hospital, I used to think about doing this." He whispered, running his cock against her wet opening, causing Meredith to moan loudly. He was loving this; pay back for all the times she'd flirted but resisted.

"Same. Ruined so many panties thinking about you." Meredith panted into his ear, her desire making her lose all pretence. He grinned, lowering her slowly onto his needy cock. The intrusion was welcome, but Meredith still gasped at being stretched. It had been a long time before Nathan – at one point she'd wondered if she qualified for born-again virgin status. Slowly accommodating to his girth, they both grunted in unison as she took him to the hilt, her wetness only growing at finally having him inside her.

"You feel so good. So perfect." Nathan huffed as she started to ride him, breasts bouncing unabashedly. Meredith was always shy at first, oddly concerned over insecurities he could never find. But as desire took over, he noticed she forgot about everything and her primal desires took over. She was hastening her pace now, testing his endurance. He could've closed his eyes, tried to make the encounter last longer by at least taking away the visual stimulus. But watching his cock slide into her, her wetness making him gleam, his thumb making quick circles around her clit as she grabbed his biceps for purchase – it was a view he didn't want to miss.

"Come inside me." She leaned forward and whispered in his ear. They'd had the condom discussion before in the airplane – they were both clean and recently tested and Meredith had an IUD that so far hadn't given out on her, although knowing her luck she'd be in the 0.01% in which it fails. She felt "too old" for condoms – although she knew this was far from true. She wanted to feel him, skin on skin.

"Are…are you sure?" Nathan didn't know how much longer he could hold off, especially after that revelation. She nodded, forcing her hips down harder to make her point known. She wanted to feel him come inside her, wanted in her own twisted way to let him know she wanted him, because she knew she'd been less than clear about that in the last couple months.

Nathan flipped them both quickly, making sure to stay inside of her and not miss a beat. He knew the Grey orgasm was elusive – even in their limited number of times together, he'd quickly learnt she had a hard time coming from sex alone. Usually he'd finish and then spend a significant amount of time with his head in between her legs, her hands using his long hair to guide him to just the right spot. Not that he minded – he loved how in that moment, she was completely unashamed to ask for what she wanted and he was more than happy to provide.

"Going to…come." He panted out, the last of his reserve peeling away. Meredith was quiet, her face pinched in what he now knew was her own sliding cascade to pleasure. Her mouth a silent O, she was close. With one last thrust and a pointed rub at her clit, he felt her walls clamp around him. She cried out, surprised at the sharp waves of pleasure, pulling Nathan in and drowning herself in his damp hair while trying to find purchase across his broad shoulders. Her orgasm rocked her, her hips thrusting of their own will.

"So…good." He stuttered incomprehensively, finally letting go alongside her. He felt his balls clench and his release pump into her, timed with her own contractions. Nathan felt stars behind his eyes, the orgasm so much sweeter because he knew it was in tune with hers. He slumped on top of her, feeling her hands running gently down his back.

"Mmm that was…mmm." Meredith mumbled incomprehensible, feeling him soften inside her. He pulled out slowly, leaving a sticky trail of their combined juices behind. She felt his cum leak out of her, a testimony to what had just happened.

"You're gonna need another shower. Betcha you wish you'd left some hot water now." Nathan smiled at her as he rolled over, taking his place behind her.

"Nah. Not right now. And you're totally sleeping in the wet spot." Meredith mumbled, grabbing his arms and wrapping them around her. Normally, she'd be hopping right into the shower, hating the feeling of sweat and stickiness that came with sex like this. But they'd never done this before – never shared in the intimate post-sex glow. She wanted to relish it, to feel his large frame wrapped around hers with no disruptions.

"I think I like Sioux Falls." Nathan said, burying his face into her hair. Tomorrow, they'd leave here and fly back to the real world in Seattle. The real world contained Maggie and Owen and Amelia and a whole bunch of explanations. He wasn't sure how that was going to work but he also didn't want to think about that right now. Meredith Grey, at least for tonight, was his and for now, that was enough.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok so you asked for it - one more chapter! Let me know what you think: I do best with feedback :)

* * *

So far, the flight back was uneventful. They'd encountered a few blips of turbulence, which had landed them in their current position, with Meredith's hand wrapped tightly around his. Nathan didn't mind, even if she was squeezing the blood out of his limb.

"I hate flying. More than I hated flying before. Which I would've though was impossible given that I really really hated flying before." Meredith said through gritted teeth. No single person could be unlucky enough to encounter three traumatic flying experiences – could they?

"Ok – how about a distraction. Tell me a story about someone on this plane." Nathan had played this game as a kid, when he'd be stuck waiting in line at the amusement park with his brother. They'd make up elaborate background stories for the characters waiting in front of them, using the vaguest clues to try and piece together a person.

"What? But I don't know anyone?" Meredith wasn't going to be easily distracted. She leaned her head against his shoulder, burying her face into his sweater and distracting herself with the smell of his deodorant.

"Ok I'll start. Do you see that couple over there? They're flying to Seattle for their 30th wedding anniversary. They met there – he was a ferry boat operator and she was a passenger. It started off innocently enough: she took the ferry everyday, they said their hellos. Then one day, she showed up crying on her way to work. Her boyfriend had dumped her and gotten her sister pregnant. He decided it was finally time to take his chance and voila – here they are now!" Nathan gestured to the older couple dozing with their mouths open, twin snores coming from their seats.

"Nah, you're wrong. She met him at a dance competition. She was there with his brother, hoping to move from dance partner to romantic partner. But his brother wasn't interested – she wasn't a very good dancer after all. He swooped in and she figured she'd settle for second best, but she's realizing now it wasn't worth it. They have terrible sex; he's a two pump chump and allergic to Viagra. She recently started talking to someone online but is afraid of leaving him, since they've been together for so long. She coerced him into a Seattle vacation this year, despite the rain and clouds that is Seattle this time of year, because she's going to sneak out to meet her online boyfriend while he falls asleep with the remote in his hand tonight." Meredith could get into this game. Her dark and twisty side could really get into it.

"That's horrible! You're no good at this. Ok, let's try again. See that guy over there? He's a famous painter but everything he paints he sells anonymously. He started painting as a kid, because his mother loved flowers but hated when they died, so he'd paint them for her. His dad was a drunk and thought he should get a real job and leave art behind. So he did – he's an accountant by day and is flying to Seattle to look over the books of a big firm. But he's also going to go look at a gallery – he's thinking of doing his first in person show and revealing who he is and he's going to invite his dad." The man in question remained oblivious, struggling with his arm rest.

"What is this, a flight sponsored by Disney? He's always had problems with gambling, but since moving to Vegas and finding out he was a savant at Texas Hold 'Em things have escalated. He blew his first million on hookers and blow, his second on fancy cars and his third in a series of failed business ventures. His last deal was with a mafia man, hoping he could capitalize and re-make all his money. But he lost big this time and the debt wasn't just monetary but personal too. He's flying to Seattle to get away from his pursuers, hoping they won't think to leave the Vegas sun behind to be cold and wet in the rain." Meredith wasn't squeezing his hand anymore, but her fingers stayed put locked between his. He was making circles on her wrist with his thumb, absentmindedly lingering across her pulse out of habit. She liked touching him – for a long time she'd looked for excuses to do it; pressing against him in a crowded elevator, passing a surgical tool with a lingering touch. It was nice to be able to touch him with no pretense, she realized.

"Oh my God woman you are banned from this game. You're making me depressed." Nathan laughed.

"Does this mean I won? I think I won." Meredith cocked her eyebrow at him.

"No no no there is no winning or losing! Besides, my stories were better so if there was, I would say I won." He said, smiling at her.

"That sounds like something a loser justifying his loss would say." She wasn't giving up her well deserved win so easily.

"Ok Grey – fine. I guess we need a tie breaker." Nathan paused, eyes locked with hers. "What would a passerby say our story is?" He kept his gaze steady, trying to read her face. He'd been thinking about this since they'd left the hotel. Being together in Sioux Falls was one thing. But now that he'd had his first real taste of Meredith Grey, the complete package, he wasn't sure he could go back to quips and banter and the occasional release of sexual tension. He had to know where she stood.

"Well…I think other people would see us as…two people figuring it out. Two people, who both want to figure it out…together." She untangled her hand from his to push back the hair that had fallen forward across his face.

"You win Grey." Nathan didn't let her answer, leaning forward to kiss her and feeling her smile against his lips

* * *

Maggie had a plan. She had grieved and cried and screamed – and then she had planned. Her mothers death had been overwhelming, For the first while, she was entirely consumed with the pain of it. She'd be watching Zola play, captured by her innocent child's wonder when all of a sudden it would hit her that she didn't have a mother anymore. She'd by drinking her coffee in the car, still half asleep when suddenly the liquid hitting her lips became vile, because she remembered she wasn't anyone's daughter anymore.

Meredith had told her it would get better, that this was normal. She hadn't believed her – how could this ever become normal? But her sister was right because slowly, bit by bit it did. She still stopped dead in her tracks, realizing she'd never again buy a mother's day card for anyone. But it was happening less now. Instead, she'd become consumed with the idea of living life to it's fullest. She remembered long ago in her psychiatry lectures in medical school, they'd talked about that – how sometimes when someone close to you dies, it pushes you to change. Maggie hated to be a cliché, but she was realizing slowly that she had to start changing.

Her mother had lived life to the fullest – she'd sky dived and travelled and done all the things she'd ever wanted to do. But she'd waited til she was dying to do it, until she had no time to relish, enjoy nor share them. Maggie realized she was waiting too, on a lot of things. She hadn't had a vacation in years – too busy focusing on her career. Her love life was in shambles because she kept waiting for the perfect guy to come around. And when he did, she waited even longer for him to reciprocate.

Well, she was done waiting. She'd been planning. She'd taken time off work – just a few days to go up to the mountains and it had been exhausting yet relaxing at the same time. But that was easy – booking time off when you're the head of your department isn't exactly difficult. Her next plan was harder and she wasn't really sure how to go about it. That was another thing she'd realized since her mothers death: Maggie didn't like to play unless she could win. She didn't like to take risks or go out on the limb unless she was at least moderately sure she'd like the outcome. It had kept her away from a lot of pain – the pain of being with De Luca for instance; a relationship she'd sabotaged for fear of somehow ending up in uncharted territory.

"Excuse me." A reporter hustled by her, interrupting her thoughts. She looked up at the podium, her eyes focused on Nathan. He was chatting with Meredith, probably preparing what they were going to say to the throngs of media here. Maggie was in awe of her sister – she knew she was a good doctor, but she'd never be Meredith Grey. If Maggie had been on that plane, she'd probably spent the whole time profusely vomiting – air travel made her nauseous.

"I knew Riggs would come in handy." Bailey drawled, raising her eyebrows pointedly at Owen, who despite his attempts at a scorn, was glowing with pride for his friend. Nathan was something else – Maggie had been drawn to him since her first OR with him. She'd tried to hate him since after all, everyone else did. But it was hard – he was so kind and easy going, a great doctor and just so desperately trying to make friends here. Maggie understood: coming to this hospital was like transferring to a new high school with 2 months left in senior year. There was so much history and established relationships that no matter how hard you tried, you always seemed on the outside looking in. It also didn't hurt that he was gorgeous; she'd wondered secretly if his accent came out even stronger during sex, sharing that tidbit only with Amelia once during a very drunken night.

"Dr. Riggs – can you tell us what happened on the plane? About the people you helped? How many lives did you save?" The media was eating this up. She pulled out her phone – the kids would love seeing this video of Meredith, she thought. And she got to enjoy the view that was Nathan– she'd been avoiding him since the rejection. The words still echoed in her ear every time she saw him: 'I'm not ready to date. Anyone.' Even thinking about that moment made her blush, months later. She'd promised herself she would never do that again – told herself maybe he was just not ready, maybe it wasn't personal and that she'd wait him out. But she was realizing now, the waiting game really wasn't a plan – being an active participant in your life, while you were still lucky enough to have one, that was a plan. Meredith had gone after Derek and she'd gotten him, gotten a great love. So Maggie was going to do the same.

"Dr Grey was incredible. She is your story – not me." It would be so like him to shrug off the praise Maggie thought. She watched as Nathan reached over to Meredith, directing the reporters attention to her. But…wait…that touch, the way he touched her shoulder. Her phone lowered slowly. Her gaze was fixated to where his hands were making contact with her sister. He hadn't moved his hand. Their eyes were locked, Meredith smiling slightly. Maggie realized Nathan wasn't even aware of the reporter anymore – he couldn't look away. And Meredith – her head turned to answer another question, but her eyes remained glued to his; a slow, tortuous break in her gaze. She remembered that look, it was the look she'd reserved for Derek.


	3. Chapter 3

Feeling inspired so here's one more! Not sure where to take it from here, so review away!

* * *

"This better be the best brisket I've ever had." Miranda had been suspicious when Ben told her he wanted to try somewhere new for dinner. Last time he'd suggested somewhere new, they'd both spent the night alternating between the toilet and a waste basket.

"Trust me! I went to this place with Jackson back in the day. It's a bit out of the way but unbelievable brisket." Ben opened the door for his wife.

"Well, at least I won't be running into anyone from work here." Miranda had this uncanny habit of always being within a 3 km vicinity of one of her co-workers. She'd lost count of the number of dinners, movie dates, playdates that had been interrupted by one of her fellow colleagues.

"Let's grab a table." Ben led the way, picking a table close to the window, knowing Miranda liked to people watch over dinner. It had been a quiet day at the hospital, with the press conference taking precedent over the OR today. Miranda had for once left at the same time as him and he wasn't going to waste that golden opportunity.

"Ok, let us see what we've got here." Miranda picked up the menu. But before she could decide if Ben's opinion on the brisket was accurate, she heard a familiar sound, echoing across the small restaurant. Miranda lowered her menu, scanning the room slowly. There was only a few other customers here, although it was hard to tell with the ambiance lighting shadowing the corners. But when she heard it again, she knew – it was Meredith Greys laugh. Her airy giggle which she remembered from when she'd met Grey as an intern. She didn't laugh as much now, not since Derek and not since being assigned chief of general surgery. Miranda had noticed how her face had grown stern, a mask of silent authority now more common than her laugh.

"What the – " Miranda stood up from her chair, ignoring Ben's quizzical look. She peaked around the pillar behind their table, feeling rather silly but letting her curiosity lead the way.

"What are you doing here?" Miranda whispered to herself, catching a glimpse of the laugh's owner. She was right – there was Meredith Grey. In this restaurant, at least an hour away from Seattle. She really had the worst luck.

"What are you doing? People are staring." Ben broke her trance, coming up behind her and attempted to lead her back to her seat by the elbow.

"Meredith Grey is here. I bet she's got some major life dilemma she needs to ask me. Or maybe she wants to talk about some surgery I said she couldn't do but she's gonna ask to do it anyways. Or…who knows! But she's here!" Miranda decided she was definitely the unluckiest person in Seattle. She bet that even if her and Ben had gotten on a plane and travelled to Antartica, they'd run into someone from work, wanting a piece of Miranda Bailey.

"Is that Riggs?" Ben joined his wife, spying behind the pillar. He blinked several times, clearing his vision. It was definitely Riggs – he could identify that hair flip anywhere; the man had a great head of hair and he knew how to use it. Meredith seemed to be appreciating it too – they're hands were touching across the table. They were leaning so close to each other that Ben was mildly concerned about the lite candle hovering between them.

"And Riggs too? Oh dear lord. Now I've got two of them. I bet he wants to…to…be head of cardio or buy a new OR suite just for himself or…or demand we buy scrubs in a colour that better compliments his eyes or…or…something!" Miranda wasn't even aware that Ben had long stopped listening.

"I really don't think they're gonna bother us, Miranda." Ben smiled, watching the couple in front of them with a smile.

* * *

"Ok so I admit, the brisket wasn't half bad." Meredith relented, settling into Nathan's couch. They had finally gone for that dinner date she'd promised him ages ago. She'd picked a place across town, overhearing Ben mention it, since she was still mindful of Maggie and her current delicate state of mind. Her sister had been quiet when she'd asked her if she could watch the kids tonight so she could go meet up with a friend. Amelia had immediately assumed she was seeing Thorpe again, although she'd only gone out for a drink with the military doctor once many months ago before deciding it was too soon. She let them believe it – now wasn't the time. Meredith wanted to enjoy this, whatever it was, for just a while longer because she knew it was going to get very complicated.

"I think the company distracted me from the food." Nathan grinned. He'd always hoped for this – Meredith on his couch, comfortably flipping through his TV channels like she owned the place already. But he had never let himself dare dream that it could come true. She'd been so cautious and guarded and there was so many obstacles in the way. He had learned the hard way that the slow burn of hope often led to a fiery disappointment. But he was letting himself have faith again, letting himself believe this could happen, that it maybe was already happening.

"Kids are asleep already. I gotta say, they drive me crazy but having live in babysitters is pretty nice sometimes." Meredith scrolled through her phone, grateful that Amelia was a wonder with her brood.

"Want a drink? You won't need to rush home anytime soon." Nathan stood up, pouring them both a glass of wine.

"You know, this is the first time in awhile I'm…having fun. My life lately has been all about diapers and sippy cups. And when it's not – its about court cases and dead moms and divorce." Meredith took a big gulp of her wine, savouring the tartness.

"Oh God I'm sorry. I'm sure you don't want to hear that. Nothing quite as sexy as an exhausted, dishelved mom with a felon best friend and a house that may need new carpeting from all the tear stains everywhere." She hadn't been on a date in a long time, so long that she had forgotten how to even properly act. She polished off the rest of her wine, already feeling the tingle in her lips as she poured a second glass.

"No I like hearing about your life. You're a mom and sister and a friend – I want to know about all those things because I want to know about you." Nathan replied, the chatter of the abandoned TV long forgotten. He didn't care about sexy – although Meredith was the best kind of sexy, the kind that is completely unaware of their own desirability – he cared about the real her, the one with the eclectic family and chaotic house filled with people who loved her.

"Ok. I guess I can't really hide all my skeletons with you, considering you work with them all. What about you – who's your family?" Meredith was on her third glass of wine, feeling bold and buzzed, both on alcohol and the man in front of her.

"Well, I've got a brother. He's in New Zealand – works as an adventure guide up there in the mountains. Parents are still there too – we lived in Portland for a big part of my life, when my dad was still working in finance. He had a heart attack a few years back and decided to call it quits – bought a sheep farm back home and now my parents sell ponchos and hats made from the wool from their sheep. I haven't been back in awhile – can't say they were too impressed with me after all the missions in the Middle East. Dad accused me of using it to run away from my problems and mom just got tired of turning on the news and wondering if I would be the up there, another causality of war." Nathan didn't talk much to his co-workers. He kept things light, not wanting to burden them with his problems.

"Where you running away? I mean – I get it if you were. I ran away – literally ran away – after Derek died. I was so overwhelmed. Alex called me every single day, but I ignored him. I ignored everybody and everything and just…ran away. So I get it if you ran away." She finishes her wine, placing the glass on his barren coffee table. She can't help but notice the state of his apartment – it's clean and proper but entirely devoid of personal touch. She thinks their hotel room in Sioux Falls looked more lived in than this place.

"I guess I did run away. I think you get really used to being a half of a person. It was always Nathan and Megan. I couldn't take being just Nathan. I couldn't take them asking where she was or what happened. I figured I had two choices – piss everyone off with my anger or disappear. I knew the moment I set foot on American soil and some well meaning friend asked where she was, I'd lose it on them. I'd take it out on them, because I knew it was my fault and there was no way to shed that anger, although it felt really good to try. So instead of ruining all of my relationships back home, I just let them…fade away. It was easier, but also cowardly." Nathan didn't remember much about his time in the Middle East. He had an extensive memory of the cool surgeries, gory traumas and medical miracles he'd witnessed – but his recollection of his self was hazy. She was right – he had run away both from home and from himself.

"But we both came back. We ran away and then we came back." Meredith said, her eyes boring into him.

"Yeah – we did. And now we're here." Nathan replied, feeling his shoulders relax, releasing tension he didn't even notice he was holding. He'd told her it was her laugh that had first drawn him to her, but he was starting to see it was more than that – they were two lost ships, still in uncharted territory but at least lost together now.

"This is nice – being here with you." Meredith spanned the space between them on the couch, turning her attention to the TV. He nodded, sliding in beside her stealthily. She was opening up, slowly but surely, Nathan was noticing. It didn't take much – Meredith had build some substantial walls around her heart, but he was learning that those walls weren't impenetrable.

"I love garbage TV." She mumbled against his arm, turning up the volume on the reality TV show she had selected. He nodded, trying to focus on the screen. Meredith had angled herself against him, pressing her ass into his crotch in the most perfect way. He didn't want to ruin the moment, make her think all he ever wanted from her was sex. But she was squirming against him, re-adjusting the blanket she'd pulled around them. Her shirt had slid partially off her shoulder, revealing a lacey bra strap he was trying really hard to ignore.

"How on earth do these people not know they're pregnant!" She was completely entranced by the show, gesturing wildly at the TV while further grinding into his crotch. He was getting hard, he couldn't help it. Nathan really regretted his choice of pants for the night, the zipper of his jeans digging in to his growing bulge. He tried to focus on the woman on the screen, drawling in a thick Southern accent about how she looked down and saw a baby dangling between her legs. But even that wasn't enough to kill his growing erection – it made him think of Meredith being pregnant, her body plump with new human life. Normally that wasn't something that caused this reaction in him, but right now it was causing a further blood rush down south.

"Ow you're belt buckle is stabbing me in the – " Meredith reached her hand back, searching for the obtrusive object pressing into her back.

"Oh…hmm I guess you really like this show, huh?" A smile spread across her face, her hand working his bulge.

"No – it's your ass – I mean – I – " Nathan couldn't form words as she slid into his jeans. Her face looked positively evil as her hands made quick work of his belt buckle and zipper. He breathed a sigh of relief as she freed him from his confines.

"I'm surprised every time at how big it is." She whispered as she nipped at his ear lobe. It was true – her hand felt small around his growing erection. She reached pulled his pants down further, using her other hand to cup his balls.

"Oh God." Nathan felt like a teenager again, making out with a girl on his couch. Except he seriously hoped his mom wasn't going to burst in anytime soon. She was good at this – firm grip, constant, steady pace and taking advantage of his ample precum to smoothen her strokes. But he was being selfish, he realized.

"Mmm my turn." He pulled her hands away, rolling on top of her. Her shirt had become twisted and the lace bra was fully exposed. He pulled the cup down, sucking hard on her nipple and earning a pointed moan. Sliding down further, he showered kisses across her stomach, taking particular care around her many scars. He made quick work of her pants, noticing that her lace panties most definitely matched her bra – that made his cock twitch. He imagined her picking out her outfit this morning, imagined she'd picked this set particularly for him.

"Ugh finally." Meredith sighed as he pulled her pants down. She was buzzed on pleasure and wine – the best combination in her opinion. He was taking his time and subsequently driving her crazy. These panties were going to have to go into the pile of others ruined by Nathan Riggs, although she wasn't particularly upset about that fact. She ran her fingers through his hair, hoping to speed him up; he was sucking on her clit through the thin lace of her panties, holding her hips down with one strong forearm to prevent her from grinding herself into his face.

"Patience, patience." Nathan stopped his ministrations to remove her soaked panties. He could smell her arousal, see her glistening in front of him. He grabbed her knee, opening her legs further to give him access. He loved doing this to her – tasting her, feeling her hands in his hair and her legs quivering around his head. He sucked her clit into his mouth, earning a scream of surprise. Nathan couldn't help but feel a sense of pride, knowing he could make her feel like this. He slipped a finger inside of her, shortly followed by another. Her hips jumped against him, a clear sign she was close.

"Oh don't stop, don't…stop…ahh" She was so close, her legs shaking and fingers digging into his shoulders. Even before they'd started whatever this was, she'd been a fan of his skills in this department. There was a myth out there that going down on a woman immediately resulted in her pleasure. Meredith had been on the receiving end of enough slobbery muff dives to know this was far from fact. But Nathan – he was very very good at this. She hoped he didn't mind that she was probably going to rip half his hair out at this rate.

TAP TAP TAP.

The sound of the door snapped them both out of their reverie. Meredith, feeling her orgasm fade, looked down at him quizzically. Nathan shrugged, his brain still too clouded with lust to put anything together.

"Nathan? Are you in there? It's…it's Maggie."


	4. Chapter 4

**The plot thickens! Reviews make me write faster ;)**

* * *

Nathan's bedroom was equally as barren as his living room, Meredith noted. She wandered by his dresser, finding it completely empty aside from a framed picture of whom she assumed must be his parents. The silver photo frame looked almost out of place, clashing with the dark wood of his simple bedroom set, clearly purchased as a set with no further thought given to décor. She peeked into his closet, deciding that it didn't really count as snooping since it had been his suggestion that she hide in here while he dealt with Maggie. She knew it was a cowardly move to hide herself away, but she also knew this wasn't the place to tell her. She wanted to sit down with her sister, test her mental fortitude before gently laying down the cards – not have her catch Meredith with Nathan's head between her legs, brain too fogged with pleasure to even feel remotely guilty about the situation.

In truth, she didn't really feel that guilty about it. She'd been placating Nathan for so long with the Maggie excuse, she couldn't actually remember when it had stopped being true. After her mothers passing, the guilt had briefly reared its ugly head again. But Meredith realized that even is she did stay away, for the sake of her sister, she wanted better for Maggie – better than being with a man that clearly wasn't ever going to love her in the way that she deserved. Knowing the truth would hurt but that pain would be brief and it would set Maggie free to find someone equally crazy about her. Yet, although Meredith could say all these things to herself in the quiet of Nathan's room, the thought of saying them to Maggie made her want to hide – just like she was hiding right now.

"So many earth tones." She mumbled to herself, running her hands across Nathan's assortment of mud coloured sweaters. She could smell him in this room, the scent of his body wash and distinct tinge of manliness she'd grown to recognize in their time together. She could hear mumbling outside of his bedroom door, his small condo managing to remain surprisingly soundproof. Meredith didn't put in any further effort into listening in on the conversation going on outside – she already knew she'd have to have one of her own with Maggie. Part of her hoped Nathan would keep them a secret for just a little bit longer. She needed this, an uncomplicated happiness, for a little while longer.

"Nice sheets at least." She made her way to his bed, the king sized mattress looking too inviting to resist any longer. She was tired – dinner had been wonderful and her energy had been renewed following Nathans ministrations, but the press conference and the emotional toll of the flight were wearing her down. His bed was warm and inviting and she couldn't help but crawl into it, kicking off her pants and trading in her blouse for one of his t-shirts.

Sleep didn't come easy for Meredith – she found her brain, given a moment away from surgery and its heavy demands, ruminated way too much. Back in the day, having Derek with her helped, as he usually distracted her with ramblings about his own worries or exhausted her with love making. But after him – her mind had become somewhat unhinged, unrestrained by a bedmate. She'd lay in bed at night and for hours she would re-read the script that was her life: the highs and lows of the last decade, those lost and gained all flashing in front of her eyes. It had eased in the last few months, with Alex back, her anchor to the doe eyed intern she once was, but night still remained her most persistent obstacle. But tonight, in Nathan's bed, body still tingling with an almost orgasm, she had no trouble finding sleep, drifting off despite the voices on the other side of the bedroom door.

* * *

"Pierce…hey…how can I help you?" Nathan tried to act casual, opening his door only slightly. He could still feel his heart rate racing, his erection disappearing in light of the interruption. Guilt was written all over his face – he knew he was easy to read and he hoped Maggie hadn't yet learned his tells.

"Can I come in? I want – no, I need – to talk to you. It's important." Pierce contorted her face into her most innocent, wide-eyed look, knowing she was good at playing this card and getting her way. Nathan's face looked flushed, like he'd ran to get the door, although she knew he hadn't since she'd heard him clamouring about for ages before he'd finally let her in. She knew he was home – she'd checked with his secretary to confirm his schedule before coming here. He'd cleared his afternoon, given away his call shift and told his secretary to hold all his calls. Maggie felt momentarily remorseful for coming unannounced – he likely needed some time to himself after that flight, the details of which had sounded harrowing to her. She had convinced herself that was the explanation behind his caress to Meredith. Maggie knew that victims who experienced the same trauma together shared a bond that was essentially for the healing process of trauma; she'd done a dissertation on this very phenomena during her college years. This was what must be going on, she'd convinced herself. Meredith knew how she felt about him, even Nathan knew – she couldn't imagine either of them being so cruel.

"Um, ok yeah sure if it's important. Everything alright? Are you ok?" Nathan scratched the back of his head, trying to remain casual. He stepped aside, letting her into his living room. He sighed with relief when she choose to sit on a chair, leaving the couch empty. He didn't think he could handle it if she'd plunked herself down where Meredith had been naked just minutes earlier.

"I'm ok. I'm great actually. I just needed to talk to you. And it couldn't wait I realized, because I've already waited too long to do this." Maggie started talking, her tone rising and words rushing out faster and faster, as it always did when she was nervous. Nathan turned off the TV, sitting on the chair across from her, his couch messy with blankets and barren. She couldn't help but be distracted by his handsomeness, the square of his jaw and the sinewy coils of his forearms distracting her briefly, as they so often did even in the hospital.

"Maggie, I don't think – " Nathan started but she raised her hand, cutting him off without a word. He felt dread build in his belly – he knew where this was going. He remembered the last time she'd done this, the same determination in her face. She looked like a kid determined to climb the monkey bars, despite how high up they were, the fear of falling pushed aside for the pursuit of something that was worth the risk.

"No, just let me finish. I know what you're thinking – this is déjà vu, we've already done this. And I used to think that too – I used to think it while pretending to ignore you for the first few weeks, then when we became sort of friends again, I used to remind myself of it all the time. I used to tell myself that that was it – I'd tried and it wasn't going to happen and I should probably just forget about it now. But I couldn't forget about it: every time we'd work together in the OR or we'd grab coffee between cases or I'd see you outside of work, the feelings were back. And it wasn't just my feelings – we're so good together Nathan, you can't deny it. It's easy with you and it's so good that I just can't ignore it anymore." Maggie was on a role, the words flowing easily now that she'd started her speech.

"Last time I asked, you said you weren't ready to date anyone. I get that – you've loved and you've lost and I've seen it first hand with Meredith: it takes time to move on. But at the end of the day, moving on doesn't just magically happen one day. You have to be the one to decide to take that next step, to decide to try again and let yourself go. Sometimes it takes a push to make that decision, someone to tell you that it's ok to make it. Because at the end of the day, we don't actually know how much time we've got here. My mother spent eleven years hiding her love for someone other than my father, because she wanted to protect me and she thought she had time. But she didn't – and I get that now." Tears were growing in her eyes and she tried to blink them away, not wanting to give in to the urge to cry right now.

"Maggie…" Nathan started, not knowing how to proceed. He wished he'd told her sooner, wished he'd told her that night in the parking lot that he was in love with her sister. That maybe, in a different universe without Meredith Grey, he'd have a different answer for her. But he couldn't form those words right now – not with her sitting in his living room, baring her soul. He felt defeated – he cared for Maggie, considered her a close friend and admired her as a colleague but he knew that would do little to placate her. He knew this confession was only partially induced by her feelings for him; much of it probably coming from her grief and regrets about her mothers passing. Yet, he couldn't help but feel ashamed – he knew he had a role to play in this, that he should've been honest sooner.

"You don't have to answer me right now. I think that was my other mistake – expecting you to decide on the spot. Taking that first step is hard, it's really hard. I can't pretend that I get it or that I know what it feels like. But I know you want to Nathan. You're not meant to be alone; I can see it in the way you build relationships with all your patients or how you went after Owen so fiercely – you don't want to be left alone. So I'll give you the space you need to come to terms – but I'll be here, waiting." With that, she stood up, walking past him and pausing only briefly when she reached his chair to squeeze his shoulder, letting him know she meant it, before letting herself out.

* * *

"Mmmhm is she gone? What happened?" the dip in the opposite side of the bed awoke Meredith with a start. Nathan sighed, peeling off his shirt and letting himself fall into the pillows behind him. He'd entered his bedroom minutes earlier, feeling deflated after his conversation with Maggie, the touch of her hand on his shoulder stinging his skin, as if his guilt had outwardly manifested into a physical, marking force. His spirits had been briefly lifted upon catching sight of Meredith, her hair splayed across his pillow and her face soft and beautiful in the dim moonlight illuminating his bedroom. She looked like she belonged here, wearing his t-shirt and curled up on the opposite side of his bed, leaving his usual spot empty and waiting for him.

"Nothing. Your sister just re-confessed her undying love to me and told me to think about it and that I should give moving on and finding love again a chance." He sighed, recognizing the undeniable irony of this – wasn't this the same argument he'd made to Meredith? She sat up beside him, her eyebrows rising and her mouth opening slightly, as if she was about to speak but the words just wouldn't come.

"I mean…it's a good argument." Meredith said dryly, earning a half hearted grin from him.

"We need to tell her." Nathan said, staring at his ceiling fan, watching the blades rotate.

"We will – I will. I meant to anyways, but then her mom…But you're right, she needs to know." Meredith had thought she'd be a much more affected by her sister's confession. Maybe she was heartless or a bad sister - it was certainly possible, given how long she'd gone on lying to her now. She knew it would be difficult and unpleasant, but somehow she couldn't muster up the energy to be bothered by that in this moment. Maybe she'd finally learned to live in the moment – or maybe she was tasting a little bit of happiness, the dark cloud that had been hiding away her own sunlight, as Cristina had once referenced, finally lifting slightly. She sighed deeply, running her hands through her hair, realizing it was time now and just how hard it would be to tell Maggie.

"Meredith, I want to be with you. Like really be with you – sit together in the cafeteria and walk to our car after work holding hands. Kiss each other good morning at work and have Amelia be disgusted at seeing me naked on your couch. It'll hurt Pierce and I don't want that – but that's not enough of a deterrent for me to not give this my absolute all." Nathan had heard her sigh, his ears piqued at her sound of defeat. He'd come so far with Meredith and he wasn't going to let her give in to this now. He leaned closer to her, pulling her hands into his.

"I know. I'll tell her. I want to tell her – it's time." Meredith replied, sealing her words by pressing her lips against his. She felt him relax against her, returning her kiss with fervor. She closed her eyes – there was a lot to think about it in the next few days. But for now, she didn't want to go there, she wanted to enjoy this moment. Nathan pulled away first, smiling slightly and managing to look less defeated.

"Come here." He whispered into her ear, pulling her against his warm torso, his hair tickling her neck. Meredith exhaled deeply, content rising from deep within her. His arm snaked around her torso, a perfect fit against him. She closed her eyes, letting sleep take over again, feeling her brain go quiet in a way it hadn't in a long, long time.


	5. Chapter 5

**PURE PWP - because it just felt right ;)**

* * *

Like clockwork, Nathan woke with a start at promptly 6 am. He didn't even need an alarm anymore – his combined years training in medicine and then the army had resulted in an internal clock that was freakishly precise.

The first thing he noticed was Meredith splayed across his chest, managing to migrate almost entirely to his side of the bed, her breasts pressed into his chest and her hands carelessly close to his crotch. She'd lost her shirt some time during the night, her naked body splaye across him. The second thing was the tightness of his briefs, his cock hard and straining. He closed his eyes, trying to conjure the foulest surgical images he could think of – this typically did the trick for even his most stubborn morning wood. Meredith sighed contently in her sleep, her hands drifting absentmindedly, resting on his waistband. He didn't think it was possible, but he felt himself get harder.

"What are you doing to me?" Nathan muttered to himself, smoothing Meredith's hair off her face as he watched her sleep. He didn't want to wake her, knowing she needed sleep, but he had to try and extract himself from this before he embarrassed himself. He was pretty sure he'd lose significant street cred if Meredith woke up and found him cleaning up from an unprovoked wet dream.

"Still got the stealth, Riggs." He praised himself, remembering all the times this particularly skill had come in handy during medical school, when he'd bedded his fair share of future surgeons. He waddled quietly into the shower, hoping the cold spray would calm him down. He'd woken up with plenty of boners before, but nothing like this - this was as bad as his first tour in the army, when lack of privacy and female companionship had made him revert back into a teenager.

The spray of the shower hit him full force, making him yelp inadvertently. He adjusted the temperature, running his hands through his hair, reminding himself of the way Meredith had grabbed it last night, guiding his face between her legs. This only worsened the situation, sending more blood to down south, his erection now even more unignorable. He couldn't take it anymore – grabbing his cock in his hand, the first stroke eliciting a groan he tried to stifle. This wasn't going to take long, he thought, closing his eyes and plays the scene from last night in his head, before Maggie interrupted.

"Can I help?" His eyes snap open, dick still in hand. Meredith smirked, her naked form peering from behind his shower curtain. He felt a slow blush creep across his face – he'd actually never been caught like this before. Even as a youngster, when his hand was on his dick more often than not, he was always careful not to get caught. He'd come close a few times in the army, but he'd rarely let himself get too caught up in the moment, ears always piqued for the sounds of nearby footsteps.

"Oh God – uh sorry…did I wake you?" He stuttered, eliciting a laugh from Meredith.

"Nah, woke up on my own. I heard the shower and figured I'd come join you." She climbed into the shower with him, turning up the water from the frigid temperature he'd set for himself.

"Show me how you do it." She whispered in his ear, guiding her hand back down to his throbbing cock. "I like watching you."

"Yeah?" He asked tentatively, letting her guide his hand. He'd never done this in front of someone before. He took over as her hand moved away, restarting the rhythmic strokes down his hardness, tentatively at first. But soon, his brain fogged and he became lost in his pleasure, his shyness dissipating and his hand beginning to work in earnest.

"What do you think about?" Meredith was mesmerized, watching the shower spray run down his torso, the rivulets of water trailing down his abs to where his hand was making quick work of his thick cock. There was something about being a voyeur in this private moment that made the heat grow between her own legs.

"You." Nathan replied simply, not able to add much more, his voice strained.

"Tell me more." The sound of her voice brought him back to the moment, his eyes meeting hers as she knelt down to her knees, eye level with his crotch.

"Tell me and I'll help you." Meredith's voice was thick with lust, her lips floating a hair's breath from the tip of his cock. She looked positively evil, her hands stroking his inner thighs and staying pointedly away from anywhere even close to where he wanted them.

"Ah I guess…oh God…I think about this…a lot…" He was trying to form words, but she'd wrapped her lips around hip now, sucking on his sensitive tip while her blue eyes remained glued to his. He paused to catch his breath, promptly causing her to move her mouth away from him.

"You gotta keep talking Riggs. Or do you not like it when I do that?" Meredith smiled innocently, her hands dancing dangerously close to his balls but never lingering for longer than a second before trailing away.

"Okay…oh…you're killing me Grey." She was back at it now that he'd started talking, her hand wrapping around the base of his member as she slid more of him into her mouth. She was so good at this; he couldn't stifle his moan and he seriously hoped his neighbors didn't share a bedroom wall with him. Her eyebrow lifted slightly, her lips starting to pull away from his cock at his lack of comprehensible speech.

"Oh God, don't stop I'll talk." He hissed, thankful when she begins to pump her hand again, lips working on him and eliciting an involuntary, small thrust of his hips.

"I think about you wrapping your lips around my cock, like this and finishing me off 'til I explode in your mouth. Or – ugh – fucking you…I think about that a lot. Grabbing you from behind, sliding into you – you're already wet and ready for me and – " She cuts him off before he can continue, her lips pressing against his. He didn't even realize she'd come up – he'd been so lost in what she was doing to him. His hands grab at her, roughly picking her up and against the wall of his shower. The water is getting cold again, but he doesn't notice.

"Now you don't have to think about it anymore." She nips at his earlobe as she whispers, her voice cracking as his fingers get to her clit, her wetness coating his fingers. He slides two in, feeling little resistance as her hips buck into his hand. Meredith groans, remembering the orgasm she didn't get to have last night.

"I think about you when I play with myself too." She says, enjoying the pure lust that crosses his eyes when she tells him that. It's true – the first time he'd wandering into her private thoughts was month's before she jumped him in the parking lot, back when she was hating him for Owen's sake. She'd been surprised, but in the heat of the moment dismissed it as a random glitch in her brain, casting any and every hot blooded male in her life as the main character. Now, she realized her most primal desires had long preceded her feelings.

"Aren't you happy we don't have to just imagine it anymore?" He says, his fingers sliding out with a wet pop, much to her dismay. She doesn't get a chance to answer, as he slides his cock into her in one fluid stroke, eliciting a scream as her fingers claw into his back. She relishes the feeling of him, the angle he's chosen hitting her sweet spot perfectly.

"This is so much better than I imagined." she says as he settled into a rhythm that's making her hips twitch. His one arm keeps them upright against the shower wall, while his other hand snakes down between them, finding the hard nub of her clit. She's close – he can tell by the way her body is quivering around him, the way her hands have fallen to his hips and are guiding him to go faster, harder. His own orgasm is just at the brim as well, fueled by the mewls she's making.

"I'm…oh…." She breathily gasps, unable to finish her sentence as the first contraction hits her, her pleasure making her vision go blurry and her body limp. He holds her against the wall, letting her ride out her convulsions, keeping his composure. When her orgasm passes, she noticed he's still hard, inside of her, throbbing with his own impending release.

"Can…can you finish me off?" He's not used to asking her for things yet. But the moment feels right – she wanted to know what he thinks about and this is his favourite fantasy. He eyes her nervously, watching as the bliss from her orgasm slowly fades. She leans forward to kiss him, tongue parting his lips as her hips tilt to slide him out, her body missing the intrusion almost immediately.

"I'm all about making your fantasies come true today, Nathan." Her voice is grumbly with desire and he has to close his eyes for a moment to stop himself from blowing. She slides back down to her knees, stroking him once before taking the tip into her mouth, her head beginning to bob around him.

"Oh – now – I'm – ahh!" He knots his fingers into her hair, trying to give her warning. She's ready for him when he explodes, taking him deep into her mouth and riding out his orgasm as he tosses his head back and lets out a final groan.

"That was downright dirty." It's Meredith who speaks first, standing up and turning up the shower back to hot, impressed they haven't gone through all the water yet. He nods, his body drained from pleasure and his mind sated. He tries to remember the last time he'd been this happy at 6 am, as Meredith ducks under the water.

"Grey, I don't think I can work with you anymore. Pretty sure they're not going to be too impressed with me at work considering I'm going to now have a constant hard-on every time I see you." She laughs, rolling her eyes but smiling at him, making him feel like the damn luckiest man alive.


	6. Chapter 6

FINALLY she tells her! IS there interest in me continuing this? I see it wrapping up shortly

* * *

She'd told Amelia first – that had been relatively easy. Her sister had long had her suspicions about Riggs and Meredith. She told her while they were washing dishes last night – the kids had requested Maggie read them their bed time story and Meredith jumped on the opportunity for a moment alone with Amelia.

"Nathan and I are….well I guess…we're…seeing what happens." She hadn't elaborated much to Amelia, who of course had rapid fired about a million questions at her.

"So you're seeing each other? Does Maggie know? Does Owen know? How's the sex? Does he moan with an accent? " She'd sworn Amelia to secrecy, threatening her with eviction and evisceration should she decide to tell, knowing her sister's motivation to avoid having to live with Owen was pretty high right now. Despite her annoying curiosity, Amelia had seemed happy for her and it had been a relief to tell at least one other person about this. Meredith had never been one of those girls, the kind who shares all the details of her relationships with her friends. Even with Cristina, unarguably her kindred spirit, she'd kept much of her private life with Derek away from her. But still – she couldn't help but smile knowingly at Amelia's train of questions.

Telling Maggie was significantly harder. For one, she'd decided she needed to get her away from the house to do it, since her place was becoming more and more like a hostel, with a constant stream of visitors. Secondly, Maggie had a tendency to run – when she didn't want to deal with what she was hearing, she'd simply walk away or pick up her phone and become engrossed in it, choosing to either mentally or physically disappear from her problems.

"Hurry up, Mer! At this rate, it'll be dark by the time we get to the top!" This was why she was spending her Saturday morning hiking, hoping the perilously named Rattlesnake Ridge held no actual rattlesnakes. Meredith couldn't remember the last time she'd voluntarily been in the forest like this – probably not since her original plane crash, after which she'd sworn off nature forever. If she recalled correctly, she'd sworn off planes forever too after that incident. Clearly, she had issues sticking to her guns.

"I'm coming! Slow down. All this…nature keeps getting in my way." She stumbled across yet another hidden root along the path, swearing to herself. Amelia had suggested this – it was perfect on paper: no cell service, no escape routes and no interruptions. Meredith now realized all of those things could easily add up to a number of disastrous lost-in-the-woods scenarios; the kind of situations that were all too typical in her life.

"Just wait until you see the view! It's spectacular! I Google'd it before we left – it's gonna be totally worth it. " Maggie was unbelievably peppy despite the early hour and the fact that bugs the size of baseballs were hovering around them. She loved this – being outside, going on adventures. It made her think of her family vacations growing up, which had often been to national parks. Her dad had taught her how to read a map and use a compass; she knew a surprising number of survivalist facts and could even start a fire if in a pinch.

"Nothing is worth this." Meredith slapped her calf, killing a giant bug and leaving an oozy red trail behind, the creatures dinner. She'd called Nathan last night and told him of the plan. He'd laughed heartily and asked her if she meant a real forest or the local park near the hospital, where he'd seen her scurry off to when she wanted some peace and quiet during her lunch break. She'd felt like a teenager again – whispering on the phone 'til late at night, hoping no one was awake and listening through the creaky walls of her ancient home.

"Ok, we're almost there…just a few more steps." She followed Maggie's voice up through the last portion of the trail, the dense vegetation giving way to a cliff ledge.

"This is…wow." Meredith had spent most of this hike with her eyes firmly pointed towards the trail, mindful of rocks and roots, her eyes searching for snakes hidden in the underbrush. Now that she'd finally looked up, the view was pretty spectacular. A sparkling, azure lake lay in front of them, looking more like a puddle from their high vantage point. Surround the water, the rippling landscape looked endless. She could see a bird, maybe an eagle, circling almost at their eye level, taking no notice of the two hikers.

"I told you it would be worth it. It's beautiful." She joined Maggie, who had set down her bag and was perched near the ledge on a boulder. It was pretty amazing she had to admit – the sky was perfectly clear, which was a miracle in and of itself in Seattle.

"It is." Meredith replied simply. Over the last few years, she'd become quieter, realizing that often one just had to experience the moment quietly – there was no use in muddling it with words. When she'd first started working in Seattle, she'd been all about big emphatic speeches and emoting every scene in her life. Now, older and wiser, scarred and harrowed, she'd learned to keep quiet and just enjoy the moment.

"Are you…okay?" Maggie was still trying to read Meredith, trying to know her like a sister should, even though their bond spanned a mere 3 years. Right now, she looked tense, staring off into the distance, eyes focusing on some unknown entity. She was hard to capture – her face often giving away nothing, the subtle changes in her language that Alex could pick up instantly totally foreign to Maggie. After a tumultuous start, they had a good relationship now. Meredith had been there for her and Amelia countless times but she'd still remained closed off, choosing Alex or Arizona or even Bailey as her confidant over her own housemates.

"I'm fine. Actually, more than fine. I'm happy and alive and home. And…there's someone." She turned her full attention to her sister now, wondering if the edge of a very tall cliff was the best place to have this sensitive conversation.

"Someone? A patient? Or – OH…someone!" Maggie was slow on the uptake, her eyes widening as she pieced together Meredith's vague statement.

"That's great Mer! You deserve it – you really do." She had some guesses as to who it could be – maybe Thorpe was back in the picture, although she doubted it given that Meredith hadn't seemed all that keen about the military man. She briefly considered Alex, although she couldn't imagine she'd have missed that happening right under her nose.

"I won't pry – just know that I'm happy for you. It's been a hard couple of years for you and I know this isn't how you'd imagined your life, but it's the right step to open up and you're so brave and –"

"It's Nathan." She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't watch Maggie glowing with happiness, commending her for this.

"It's been a while…well I guess not really a while. Officially since the air plane – well I guess not officially since there isn't anything official to report, but – I guess, I'd count it since then, if I had to say. But not really – we kissed once, well I kissed him and more – but that was before I knew about you – and then I did know so I didn't – " Meredith was rambling, her hands waving frantically as she tried to explain the timeline.

"After…after I told you I liked him?" She spoke barely above a whisper, Meredith catching her words on the wind. As if on cue, clouds had rolled in and the wind was picking up.

"No! Well – I guess maybe. When you told me at the wedding, I hit the brakes. Told him nothing could happen between us. He persisted though, said he really wanted to see how things went between us. I told him repeatedly we couldn't go there – I didn't want to hurt you. But I had feelings too and…he was just always there…and…I guess I gave in." She was trying to explain herself and failing miserably. Even to her own ears, she heard excuses and explanations that did little to quantify the situation.

"So you lied to me. You both lied to me. Over and over again." The implication of Meredith's words hit Maggie slowly. At first, she'd been surprised – she'd never even seen Nathan and Meredith together until the press conference. The conference – the touch of his hand on her shoulder. A wave of nausea hit her then; maybe it had been right there the entire time but she was oblivious. Yet, she knew Meredith wasn't oblivious – she'd been Maggie's confidant for months, had patiently listened to her pine away for a man she full well knew had no intention of returning the sentiment.

"You…let me tell him and embarrass myself, knowing he'd say no. You…let me talk about him, like some stupid school girl, like some clueless idiot who thought she had a chance." She was starting to get angry. How could Meredith do this to her? Maggie was a grown woman and she'd dealt with her fair share of male rejection – she could've handled that full well on her own. But Meredith – and Nathan, to some degree – had played her.

"No, Maggie. I wanted you to be happy, so I tried to stay away. I thought he was just after an easy lay or that he was looking for a means to get through to Owen by winning me over. But…then he wasn't…and it just…happened. I stayed away for a long time, for you and for Derek. But now – I can't anymore." Maggie stood up, making it only a few steps before Meredith caught up to her.

"I did lie. Because I didn't want him to want me. I sure as hell didn't want to have the feelings back. For a long time, I wanted you to pursue him and convince him it was really you he was after because I wanted you to be happy. And because I was so scared of being happy again. But…that didn't happen. I held off for a long time, but I can't anymore. It's not fair to you or to me. So yes, I lied: to you, to myself, even to Nathan." She could hear rain clouds rumbling in the background, the trees around them swaying in the wind.

"You're my sister. You're not supposed to do this. I can't believe you'd be so…selfish. It's always about you, Meredith. You always get what you want. You don't care who you hurt, you need to get what you want. That's why Derek left you – and Cristina too! It's why everyone leaves you – you kill their happiness when you can't handle not getting your way!" Maggie's voice began to rise, the first rain drops spitting from the black clouds above. Since meeting Meredith, she had been drawn to her presence – even when she'd been cold to her, unaccepting and awful, Maggie had remained enthralled by her sister. Now – hurt and angry – she couldn't even look at Meredith, it was too painful.

"He didn't want you. I couldn't change that. Choosing to ignore my own feelings for him, choosing to be miserable and alone wasn't going to make him pick you." The rain was coming down hard now, although Meredith hadn't even noticed. Maggie's words had cut her like a knife, making her spit her own menacing thoughts back at her sister. Loud claps of thunder roared through the forest, prompting both women to break each others gaze.

* * *

"So how was it?" Nathan sat down beside her on the stairs. He'd texted her after the rain storm to make sure they'd gotten off the mountain before the heavens opened up. Hearing only a curt reply, he decided to stop by, bearing a warm drink he hoped would warm her up after her stormy hike.

"It was…well it's done. I guess that's what matters." Meredith sipped her tea, enjoying the warm cup in her hand. She'd arrived home drenched and miserable, albeit grateful she'd suggested they take separate cars to the park since she was pretty sure Maggie would've left her up there. Her sister hadn't come home yet, likely avoiding the house and all its inhabitants.

"I told Owen." He hadn't planned to tell him. They'd started spending time outside of work together, like old friends. Following a long day in the OR, Nathan found Owen in the parking lot, his car rattling and refusing to start. Nathan offered him a ride home, Owen accepted and suggested they stop for dinner along the way – now, months later, their friendship was slowly mending and they would regularly grab beers, lamenting about Owen's imploding marriage or Nathan's work woes. There was no one Nathan wanted to tell more than Owen about this – but he also knew the risks, knew how much Meredith meant to him.

"And you still have all your facial bones intact? I'm stunned." Meredith quipped dryly.

"What can I say – I've got a resistant facial structure? In all honesty, he took it pretty well. He did warn my that should I hurt you in any way, he'd use my balls to strangle me, which is a pretty graphic visualization." Owen had been surprised, but happy for Nathan. He knew Meredith well and he knew she wouldn't let herself fall easily. He trusted her judgement and to some degree, was beginning to trust Nathan's too. He'd also seen it coming – after all, he'd witnessed Nathan win over his sister and saw all the signs this time again. Although he did make it perfectly clear that he wasn't going to be offering up any third chances.

"Well I like your balls where they are, so let's try not to piss him off." Meredith rested her head on his shoulder, finishing her tea. He was warm and solid, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close.

"Maggie will come around. You care about her and she knows that. I'm sure she just needs some time to cool off." He brushed her hair back off her face, enjoying that he could do this now without having to worry about peering eyes from inside the house.

"Do you want to come in?" She didn't want to sleep alone anymore. Her big bed was lonely and he was already here and the damage was already done with her sister. She was getting used to him far too quickly – this wasn't at all typical Meredith fashion and it was making her nervous. But then he smiled at her, eyes lighting up at finally being invited inside, after months of only making it to her doorway to be shooed away. As she took his hand in hers and led him inside, she couldn't help thinking maybe sometimes it was ok to lower those walls, just a little bit.


	7. Chapter 7

Not nearly enough Meredith and Nathan in that episode! I hope they stay together on the show!

Also - any ideas for where to take the story? I'm feeling a bit of writers block in terms of the plot lately - suggestions?

* * *

"Everyone's asleep and Ellis only made me read her 3 stories versus her typical 8 – it's a modern day miracle." Meredith had gone to check on the kids while Nathan retreated to her room. She was thankful Zola was away at a sleepover birthday party – her eldest was the most vocal and would have spotted Nathan immediately. Maybe it was because Meredith's extended family comprised of her co-workers was frequently in and out of her house, but the little girl had no shyness when it came to meeting new people. Bailey on the other hand was quieter, hiding behind Meredith every time someone new came by. Her youngest was probably the easiest going – placate her with a bottle and a story and she'd be your best friend forever.

Meredith wanted him to meet her brood, although not yet. She'd never introduced her kids to another man in this context before and although they'd met Nathan casually – he'd once helped her load three screaming kids into her car during a particularly bad day when all were afflicted with horrible ear infections and he'd spotted her struggling out of the hospital day care – this was different. She didn't want them to get attached until she knew where things were going; they'd suffered enough in the last few years with Derek's death and her own ridiculous work hours.

"Do I get a bed time story?" Nathan smirked, inspecting her bookshelf, filled with her mother's journals and massive medical textbooks. He'd never been this deep into her house – usually she was slamming the door on him while he was out on the porch. He was enjoying his exploration of her most private quarters, purposefully ignoring her glare. He pulled out one particular tome – a book on Kama Sutra – and turned to her, eyebrows raised.

"Oh God - believe it or not, Derek's mom got us that when we were trying to conceive. She seemed to think getting more creative was the solution to all our baby making problems." Meredith blushed inadvertently, remembering the awkward interaction with Carolyn years ago. She had thrust the book into her hand and winked at her, telling her to try being upside down more to 'coax the little buggers into the right spot'. She understood why Amelia was the way she was – with a mom like that, how could anyone turn out normal.

"Oh this is interesting. Although, I don't think my knees bend that way…" He was flipping through the book now, turning it sideways to examine a particularly complex pose. Meredith crawled into bed, snorting in laughter as he brought the book further from his face, eyebrows crinkled in confusion.

"Hey, I think we did this in your car that one time. But with less…arm action." He'd joined her in bed now, pointing out a particularly complex pose that could really only work in the cramped back seat of her SUV. She shuddered looking at it – she'd been sore the day after their escapade, both from her bodies unfamiliarity with rough sex after all her years of celibacy and from the fact that he'd near hung her upside down in the confines of her car.

"Ah now this we should try – apparently it gets right up into your G-spot. Maybe you can finally discover that you have one?" Meredith rolled her eyes. During a long shift at the hospital, before things had gotten complicated between them all, Nathan had inadvertently interrupted a impromptu girl's night in the doctors lounge between herself, Amelia and Maggie – all three had been on call together and were taking a much needed snack break. Meredith, drunk off of lack of sleep, revealed that she didn't really believe in the G-spot, since she'd never found this apparently pleasurable magical button. Nathan had stayed quiet that night, pretending to be engrossed in a surgical journal while the girls gossiped, but she knew he'd been secretly listening in.

"Okay, enough of that. That will not be your bedtime story for tonight." She snatched the book away, stuffing it in her bedside drawer and making a mental note to hide it before Zola discovered it and started asking too many questions. Her daughter had recently started wanting to dress and do her make up ' just like mommy' and was constantly on the prowl for Meredith's clothes and jewellery to steal and stow away in her room. She didn't want Zola colouring in the lines of this particular book.

"Ah come on, Mer! This is how you get to know one another better – you poke around someone's room and you find all their little secrets." Nathan was giddy with happiness, still in disbelief that she'd invited him in and this was happening. He turned his attention to the night stand next to him, sliding the top drawer open.

"What are you doing – stay out of there!" Meredith squeaked, reaching across the bed to grab at his forearm, but it was too late.

"Ah I see how you resisted me for so long, Grey." He pulled out a small cylindrical device, recognizing it from his college days when his long distance girlfriend had taught him the magic of phone sex. He clicked the small button at the top – the bullet vibrator buzzed to life, batteries clearly recently charged.

"A girl's got needs you know. I gotta take care of myself – can't be jumping strange men in parking lots wherever I go." Meredith was trying to play it cool, but her face was flushed and warm, giving her away. She'd never admit it, but this was how she'd resisted him for so long – after those long days of flirting and skirting around each other at the hospital, she'd come home and when the kids were put to bed, she'd take the time to rid her brain of all the dirty thoughts he'd inspired. Her little friend had served her well – she'd stifled his name into her pillow, her moans quiet to not attract any undue attention from all of the warm bodies sleeping across the thin walls. After their tryst in her car, she'd replayed the images of him in her head over and over again, vibratory placed securely against her clit, imagining it was his swift fingers and thick cock instead. But she would absolutely never tell him that – he was already looking like the cat that got the cream, eyes twinkling as he clicked the bullet on and off.

"You should've just asked me. I would have been more than happy to provide those services. We can't have one of our chiefs of surgery not performing at her best because she's…distracted." He moved closer, placing his hand on her thigh, her pyjamas short and leaving her long legs exposed.

"You know what this means right? If you really piss me off, I can replace you. That little thing works just great." She moved close to him, smirking. She'd always loved flirting, which was easy with Nathan, with their natural chemistry and his easy going nature. Being able to do this without the guilt was new for her and quickly becoming addictive.

"What! I'm insulted. I have infinitely more skill than this piece of garbage! For instance, Mr Bullet here can't do this." He leaned forward, bringing his lips to the space between her neck and shoulder. He'd noticed in their first time together the way she'd moaned and arched against him when he kissed her there. But she'd pushed him away – she couldn't risk a hickey at work, it would lead to too many questions. Now, he didn't care and judging by the way that she was grabbing at his hair, neither did Meredith.

"I guess that's true." Meredith replied breathily, trying to maintain her composure. Nathan pushed her down into the pillows and she let herself fall. She ran her fingers up his t-shirt, trailing across the hard plane of muscles and circling down to the coarse path of hair under his bellybutton. She could feel that he was hard already, probably had been since he'd started reading the Kama Sutra book – she'd noticed how he'd tilted his hips away from her, hiding his arousal as he'd flipped through the pages. She massaged his bulge, eliciting a groan that he buried into her neck.

"Too many clothes." Nathan paused his ministrations to strip his shirt off as she did the same, making short work of his belt as well. He soon returned to her neck, simultaneously thumbing her nipple into a hard nub as his other hand pulled down her shorts. She could feel the dampness between her legs, an inadvertent reaction that had started when she'd walked into her room and seen him standing there, as if he'd always belonged in her bedroom.

"So wet already? Guess you liked my bedtime story." His mouth had moved down to her nipple now, biting gently and soothing with his tongue as he ran a finger through her folds, feeling the slick warm wetness. She spread her legs, giving him better access and tossing her head back in pleasure. He definitely had the hands of a surgeon – swift, precise and determined in their movements.

"You should finish what you started, the other night." She was directing his head down south. He owed her an orgasm from the night before and she wasn't going to let him forget the favour. Nathan laughed, his mouth pressed against her hip crease now, still not low enough. He liked that she asked for what she wanted. Over the years, he'd learned the key to good sex was communication – you could be well endowed or have endless endurance, but if you didn't take the time to listen to what your partner wanted, it all just became an awkward bump and grind that led to nowhere.

"I'm gonna make you forget all about that bullet." He told her confidently as he reached her soaked opening. Her clit was swollen with need, begging for him to pay attention to it. He took it in his mouth, starting off gently before sucking firmly on the nub, causing her to hiss in pleasure as her legs clamped around him.

"Oh…Nathan." His cock oozed at the sound of his name on her lips. He reached down and gave himself a tug, unable to resist some release following her exclamation. He was definitely going to have a hard time ever working with her in the hospital now – every time she'd say his name, he'd think of her saying it like this, hands buried in his hair as she grinded into his face.

"Feels good?" He asked, rather redundantly as he slid first one, then two fingers inside of her. She was tight, her small frame having to stretch to accommodate even just his fingers. She groaned in reply, hips bucking. He curled the tips of his fingers upwards, searching for that soft spot inside of her that she'd denied ever having found. He knew he'd hit it when her grip on his head tightened and a gush of wetness coated his hand.

"Oh…right there…oh…so close." Her face was glistening with sweat as his fingers continued to circle that spot inside. His mouth closed around her clit again, causing her to slam herself onto his hand. He alternated his rhythm, timing his ministrations for ultimate pleasure. It didn't take long – he could feel her thighs quivering and she'd created a significant wet spot on the bed now, her pleasure tasting sweet on his tongue. He felt the first wave of contractions against his fingers, riding out her orgasm as she moaned loudly into her pillow, hoping it was enough to keep the noises contained.

"That…was…woah. I guess…I do have a G-spot." Meredith was spent, so much so that she didn't even mind the damp sheets stuck to her skin. Her legs felt weak and her body melted into her bed. She could still feel the residual pleasurable contractions, her legs twitching occasionally. He didn't need that Kama Sutra book – Nathan Riggs definitely knew what he was doing.

"You look like you could use some help." He was laying beside her, enthralled by her post-orgasm glow and ignoring his throbbing member. Meredith ran her finger gently over the smooth skin, impressed by how massive he had grown. The veins were bulging, pre-cum flowing freely and balls tight against him. He grunted as she pulled at him firmly, eliciting a further wave of pre-cum.

"Does it hurt? To be this hard?" She was impressed at his self control.

"It's uncomfortable. But worth it to watch you get off. You're so beautiful – I like watching you let go and since I know it takes you some time, I focus on you first." His eyes were half-shut, enjoying the slow ministrations of her hand. She watched his abs contract as she pulled at his shaft, trying to maintain control.

"What a gentleman, Dr. Riggs." She joked leaning down to kiss him. In all honesty, she felt her heart warm at his answer. This was part of what attracted her to him – he genuinely enjoyed seeing those around him happy, not solely for the benefits that it served him. It was a rare trait and it persisted in all aspects of his life, she'd noticed – as a doctor, friend and now, lover.

"Only a gentleman for you." He pulled her away, looking into her big blue eyes, pupils dilated with pleasure. She smiled, simultaneously lining herself up with his cock, dragging his thick head across her opening, coating him in her wetness.

"Ahh!" He inadvertently grunted in pleasure as she slid down him, her descent surprisingly quick. He wasn't going to last long, with having delayed his release for so long already. She was riding him slowly, the sensitivity from her last orgasm wearing off. He wanted to make her come again, but with the way her lips were gripping him, leaving behind a sticky trail of pleasure, he wasn't sure he could.

"Turn around." He breathed in her ear, helping her oblige him. Now from behind, he encouraged her to continue to set the pace, her hips slamming against him. He fumbled around the bed blindly, finding her little silver bullet near her pillow. Quickly running it alongside her wet folds to get it lubricated, he placed it against her clit before turning the device on, the buzzing audible over her surprised outcry.

"Oh…you're brilliant sometimes." She wanted to make some quip about how it wasn't just her that was resourceful, with her cocktail straw medical kit concoction, but she couldn't form the words. The bullet was buzzing its perfect tune on her clit and combined with the stretch of his cock as he buried himself in her to the hilt, Meredith was in heaven.

"I'm…gonna…" He could feel the vibrations from the bullet through her walls. For a small little thing, it sure had a lot of kick. His pace hastened and her hips slammed into him, keeping up with the rhythm. Within seconds, he felt her contract around him, her face falling into the pillow. He dropped the bullet, grabbing her hips with both hands firmly and slammed a few final times into her before letting go himself, feeling the hot spurts of cum empty into her.

"Hey, Mer there's this weird buzzing happening in the hou – OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY." Amelia's face was frozen in terror, her eyes big and mouth ajar. Meredith, high on post-orgasm bliss, felt the fog of pleasure immediately lift as her sister barged into the room, as always ignoring the closed bedroom door. Riggs reacted first, quickly wrapping them both in her bed spread. Amelia came to her sense soon after, her face still in its mask of part disgust and part mortification, but her limbs finally coming to and getting her out of there as fast as possible.

"I…can't believe that just happened." Meredith fell back onto her bed, untangling herself from Nathan. In a few minutes, she'd be mortified. Right now – all of her nerve endings were buzzing and her brain had temporarily left the building.

"What part? The amazing sex? The discovery of your G-spot? Or the part where your sister just walked in on me giving it to you from behind?" The pillow hit him in the face with surprising force, although despite the muffling from the feathers, he could hear her laughing on the other side.

* * *

"So wait – he's like your boyfriend now? And oh God – Amelia walked in?!" Cristina was barely audible over the crunching and rustling of her late night dinner – chips, a vending machine egg salad sandwich and a Diet Coke. She'd been at the hospital all day, rushing home in time for her scheduled phone call with Meredith. They did this every Sunday, setting away time for each other and keeping their friendship alive despite the distance and professional demands.

"I guess? We've both told people now so I'm sure pretty soon everyone will know." Nathan had left her place shortly before breakfast, having promised April he'd come help her during her swamped weekend call shift. Her body was fresh with the memory of him, a slight ache between her legs – they'd had incredible sex again this morning and then another encore of shower sex, despite having to keep quiet for the sake of her housemates. Meredith was insatiable these days – something about having to hold off on her desires for so long made her lose all her pretenses. Amelia walking in on them had made her significantly more diligent about locking her door though.

"And I know – by far the most embarrassing moment of my life. I'm pretty sure I can never ever look her in the face again." When the sexed out bliss had subsided, the true horror of the moment hit Meredith. Although a part of her thought Amelia deserved it – at least she wasn't writhing her naked body all over a publically shared couch, like her sister and Owen had done. Although she did have some plans for that couch in the future, should she ever be able to get everyone out of her house for even a moment. But overall, she was horrified – Meredith didn't even like talking about the details of her sex life, nonetheless have someone see her in the midst of her most intimate moments. She hoped the view was at least decent, since she was sure Amelia was going to now tell everyone about the tragedy she had just suffered, despite it being definitely her own fault.

"And as if you never knew you had a G spot. Remember when we went to that sex store when you and Derek broke up and I made you get that G spot vibrator? Didn't you ever use it? You've been missing out, Mer!" She knew that now, thanks to Nathan. Cristina had probably forgotten how quickly Derek and her had broken up and then gotten back together, resulting in that vibrator languishing in some dusty closet somewhere. She made a mental note to dig the thing out one of these days – she could already imagine Bailey bursting in waving it around triumphantly like a light saber at her next holiday party.

"So he's a great lay – that part seems pretty obvious. But what else? Tell me more!" Cristina was hungry for details. She'd long thought Meredith may end up alone forever – after all, she had let Derek run her life while he was alive and she really hoped Meredith would let him go now that he was gone.

"He's just…Nathan. It's hard to describe really. We get along and he gets it – the dead lover and the weird family made up of people who aren't related to you. He's…it's easy. It's easy to be with him, which sounds really lame, but I don't really have a lot of people in my life who just make me uncomplicatedly happy and he does." She didn't have to go into detail for Cristina; her friend had always had an uncanny ability to just get it, sometimes even before Meredith did.

"He sounds…perfect: great guy, big dick and a decent knowledge of female anatomy to boot! Send me one my way!" Since coming to Zurich, Cristina had been woefully single, although she was most definitely taking advantage of her G spot vibrator, unlike Meredith.

"Yeah – if only I didn't have to hurt Maggie in order to be with him." She still hadn't heard anything from her sister, despite sending several texts. She'd left an apologetic voicemail, remorseful for her hurtful words in the heat of the moment. Truth be told, she'd expected Maggie to have apologized by now too – her own words had stung.

"Mer, you can't control her anger over this. You did what you did. Yeah you should've been honest sooner. But he wasn't hers – it's not like you slept with her husband! I mean the woman who's husband you did sleep with even got over it eventually so I'm sure Maggie will!" Meredith and Addison occasionally chatted still, a strange bond formed over their mutual love of Derek.

"Look, you deserve to be happy. Sometimes being happy means being…a little bit selfish. It means seizing the opportunities that present themselves, even if someone else wants them too. Maggie needs to understand the sacrifice you were willing to make here – you were willing to say no to a man that managed to make you the sun shine again after Derek. That's HUGE! But you were willing to give it up for her – I mean in the end, you didn't thank God – but the fact that you tried so hard to and seriously considered it should show her how much she means to you." Cristina's voice was getting louder on the phone; she'd always been a yell talker.

"At the end of the day, if he makes you happy, she should be happy for you. So – does he make you happy Mer?" Cristina asked.

"Yeah, yeah he does." Meredith smiled on the phone. On the other end, oceans between them, she swore she could feel Cristina smile too.


	8. Chapter 8

I have an idea for where I want this to go, but need to develop some other plots a little bit to make it work - hence the tone of this chapter.

The story will play itself out soon enough - in the meantime, reviews let me know you're still interested and keep me writing :)

* * *

"They were just…doin' it. And I could see everything – EVERYTHING ALEX!" Alex rolled his eyes, terribly uninterested in this conversation with Amelia. They were waiting in line for a coffee, a much needed caffeine boost that got him through the day – otherwise he'd be looking for an escape route pretty quickly.

"Well that's what you get when you don't knock! Besides, be happy for her – Mer needed to get laid." Alex wasn't particularly a huge fan of Nathan – after all, Grey-Sloane could only handle one brooding male surgeon and that was his role. But he also didn't really know the guy, apart from his feud with Owen and Maggie's constant swooning. He wanted Meredith to be happy though and he was willing to give the guy a chance – after all, he must be something special if she was going for it, given all the associated complications.

"Hey guys! What's up!" Speak of the devil, he thought as Maggie joined them in queue. She hadn't been home all weekend, choosing to stay at the hospital instead, making the call room her home. She was definitely her fathers daughter, Alex mused to himself.

"Oh not much just trying to scrub my cortex clean from accidentally catching Meredith and Nathan in the act – OH…I mean…how are you?" Amelia paused and considered her audience. Maggie's normally cheery face pinched in agitation, her mouth terse and her eyes flat.

"On second thought, I don't have time for coffee – gotta get to the OR." Maggie turned on her heels, leaving them behind and forgoing her favourite beverage in favour of saving face. She did have a surgery to go to – although it was a case with Riggs, so she wasn't exactly looking forward to that either. She didn't know how she felt about her co-worker. Meredith was her sister and she owed it to her to tell her. But Nathan – he didn't owe her anything. They were friends – kind of. He was kind to her during her mothers passing and had always been cordial, despite her awkward attempt to ask him on a date. But she realized she hadn't really bothered to get to know him outside of her romantic feelings – during all of their interactions, Maggie had been focused on proving to Nathan that she was attractive, funny, witty and entirely worth dating. She'd actually taken very little time to do much else, which left her feeling confused about how she would interact with him now. Was she mad at him? She didn't think so – she was old enough to recognize that she was jealous and embarrassed, but not mad.

"They are just so cute together. I saw this coming you know – they were always just sneaking around together, nothing obvious but I know that look on Meredith Grey. I've known that girl since she was an intern and that's the same look she had those early days with Derek, God rest his soul." Sandra, a veteran scrub nurse was chatting at the scrub sink when Maggie arrived. She tried to keep her composure, focusing on thoroughly scrubbing her hands. Why did everyone have to talk about this today? First Amelia and her…revelation – that had made Maggie feel sick to her stomach, the thought of moving back to that house and hearing them or walking in on them was too much for her – and now her nursing colleagues.

"Did everyone know? Was I just totally and completely oblivious?" She blurted out to Sandra, speaking out loud before she could stop herself. The older woman looked at her sympathetically – Maggie was friends with quite a few of the nurses she worked with and she'd spent many a case lamenting about her love life. She didn't wait for Sandra to answer, sighing as she entered the OR doors.

"Hey. I looked over her bloodwork – she's good to go." Nathan was inside already, draping the patient and preparing for the surgery. She wished it didn't have to be him in here today – all the residents were away at teaching and the other cardio surgeons had their own cases. She'd needed a second set of hands and he was supposed to be off today. It was necessary, but she wasn't happy about it.

They started off the case quietly, keeping their interactions strictly professional. The surgery was simple, but long and tedious. Normally, Nathan would've broken the monotony with friendly banter but Maggie was refusing to make eye contact, blurting out only the necessary instructions to keep the surgery going. He knew this would be awkward when he saw his name on the OR board, but he'd been determined not to fall into the trap of silence.

"So…how was your weekend?" He attempted. Nathan liked Maggie well enough, but if he had to be honest, he didn't feel guilty about Meredith. He'd long been encouraging her to tell her sister – his feelings weren't going to change and Maggie would have to accept that. Maybe it was selfish, but he'd already lost one great love in his life. He wasn't about to give up an opportunity to love again, something he thought would never happen, to keep Maggie placated.

"Pass the clamp." She replied tersely, not looking up from the gaping chest cavity they were currently digging in.

"Look, Pierce I get that you're angry. But being mad and not talking about it isn't going to change anything. And it's making for a hell of an awkward Monday." Nathan looked around at the nurses working alongside them, all of them quiet as well, feeling the tension in the room.

"I'm not mad. I'm fine." Maggie could feel her face burning, grateful for her surgical mask that was covering at least part of her shame.

"Bullshit. Is that why you won't look at me or anyone? Why you haven't said anything in hours? Or why you spent the weekend in the on-call room, breaking your back on those crappy beds?" He was getting annoyed now.

"Ok – I am mad – OK? You both betrayed me. I told Meredith no more lying and she looked me in the eye and promised she wouldn't, all the while knowing how I felt about you. And you – you told me you weren't ready to date, let me come over there the other night and spill my guts. All you had to do was tell me – tell me you just wanted some fling with my sister and I would've backed off." She still couldn't look at him, staring at her hands as they autopiloted this simple procedure.

"I think I'm falling in love with her. If that makes any difference to you – it wasn't just some fling. I'm sorry we hurt you and that you feel the way you feel. But I'm not sorry for being with her." It was the first time he'd said it out loud, but the thoughts had been lingering in his head for awhile now. He was still apprehensive – there was still moments when all he could think about was Megan – but those moments were getting few and far between these days.

"You…love her?" Maggie stopped and looked up at him. She'd really never considered that – she'd been busy thinking about her own feelings for Nathan. She wasn't stupid – she knew she didn't love him. She was excited by the potential that she thought she saw in them together, but she was far from the L word. But he loved her sister – maybe? Her sister who's life had been torn into pieces so many times, that Maggie worried she'd never find love again, not because it wasn't out there but because Meredith would be too busy trying to piece together the past, trying to forget that Derek had died and that he wasn't going to suddenly re-appear in her life and make everything ok again.

"Maggie, she held back for a long, long time because she wanted to protect you. I think it's time for her to be happy. Don't you?" The room was silent, the beeping of the monitors rhythmic in the background.

"I…I…Don't hurt her. Or I'll kill you." Her voice was stern, but Nathan could hear the smile in her tone. This was her concession, she thought. It still hurt – the betrayal and the resentment still throbbing in the background. But he was right – Meredith deserved to be happy and as much as Maggie wanted to throttle her in this moment, she couldn't deny that her sister had been a pillar of support for her, despite her own hardships. It would take time, but she realized she had to let this go.

"Funny – that seems to be what everyone tells me when they hear about this." Nathan replied, taking her small peace offering graciously. Things were looking up, he thought, allowing himself the tiniest bit of hope.

* * *

Amelia was eating her salad, oblivious to Alex and Arizona beside her, arguing about the best approach for pediatric bowel surgery. Her eyes were glued to Meredith, sitting outside with Nathan. She could see them through the window, the wind catching her sister's hair as she laughed at something he was saying. They weren't touching – from a distance, one would mistake them for two colleagues enjoying lunch on an uncharacteristically, warm spring day. But to her, it was unmistakable – the way he touched her arm with fingers trailing across her skin and lingering just a little too long, the way she rested her knee against his with casual abandon – spring was in the air and with it came the first buds of love.

"Are you gonna eat that?" Alex interrupted her reverie, gesturing to her half-eaten lunch. She thrust the tray towards him, watching as he spared not a second and began inhaling her sandwhich. She could pretend to be ok, pretend life was good – and it was when she thought about how bad it had been – but her heart felt incomplete.

"Owen and I used to be like that." She said to no one in particular. Alex didn't look up from his meal, probably choosing to not hear her.

"Callie and I too – that bench has seen a lot of action." Arizona added, sounding rather chipper. Her own loneliness was quenched, at least for now, with the addition of Minnick to the hospital. But even she was brought back in time watching Nathan and Meredith – she remembered all the great loves that Grey-Sloane had fostered, although in those days it had been Seattle Grace. Alex and Izzie, herself and Callie, Cristina and Burke – and of course, Meredith and Derek, as she had just recently told Nathan.

"Do you think it'll last?" Alex asked, mouth half full of sandwich. He wasn't one to daydream – he'd had his fair share of heartbreaks here. He was tired and weary, having just narrowly escaped with his career recently. Jo had been avoiding him – he knew she'd come when she was ready; they weren't finished yet. But for now, he as enjoying the relative simplicity of just being single. He'd come so close to losing out on everything – his career, his family, his life – he was grateful now for every day that he spent free and even his broken heart couldn't get him down these days.

"Yeah, I think so. She seems pretty enamoured, judging by what I've seen so far. And Meredith wouldn't waste her time on him if she wasn't in it." Amelia would never admit it, but Meredith and her had quite a lot in common. She was definitely more tightly wound than Mer but her thinking process when it came to men – they either utterly did not matter and made for a good one-off lay or they were you're everything, your sun and moon and stars.

"They'll last if Maggie doesn't kill them both. That girl needs to get laid. I liked her way better when she was with De Luca." Alex didn't complain much about his living arrangements, given that he was broke following his legal costs and Meredith didn't charge him for his board. He'd sympathized with Maggie during her grief, but long before her mothers passing, he'd been perpetually irritated with her obsession with Riggs. Being the only male in the house, he'd been subjected to many a conversation with Maggie where she would present some benign thing Nathan had done that day, such as brush against her in the lounge, and dissect it for hints of his undying love for her – she always needed 'a guys perspective' which unfortunately, Alex was the sole roommate capable of providing.

"I miss that." Amelia was still enamoured by the couple outside, sipping her coffee and reminiscing. She didn't notice when Alex and Arizona left, her table now empty. Her last case was cancelled, she had nowhere to be and no motivation to get up.

She thought about Owen in that moment, her mind wandering to the man that was technically still her husband. How had they come so far from what? Hadn't they once been gushing lovebirds and Meredith been the green-eyed monster on the other side, stumbling across their naked bodies twisted together? This role reversal was far from pleasant and she felt a little bit sorry for the way she'd acted towards her sister in those days – it wasn't a good feeling, watching this from the other side.

Amelia had a lot of demons, some closer to the surface than others. Dealing with her own messy self was easy when it was just her – there was no one else to hurt or take down with you. But with a husband or God forbid a child – what if she messed up? What if she had been pregnant with Owen's baby and she relapsed and started drinking again? Or even if she made it through the stress of pregnancy, but the task of motherhood did her in? It was one thing to screw up your own life but it was entirely different to implicate an innocent child. She couldn't do that – she knew it was weak and selfish and she'd never admit it, but she refused to take the risk.

"They're sweet. I hope he doesn't mess it up." She wasn't alone anymore. Owen was sitting next to her, his tray of food cautiously in front of him. It was as if her thoughts had been broadcast to the world, she thought. The one person she somehow simultaneously wanted to see the most and the least in this moment was here.

"He won't. I'd put my money on her running away. It seems more likely." Amelia replied. This was strange, this new territory they had recently entered since she'd returned to work. They spoke – but never about the things that needed to be said.

"Yeah, I can see him doing that too. It took a long time for Megan to get through to him, although he was different back then – a lot more immature, still a playboy using the pre-fix Dr to get laid. I think things are different this time, for both of them." Owen was tentative about this situation – Nathan wasn't a bad guy, despite his past actions. He'd taken his own grief and guilt over Megan and transposed them all onto Riggs, resulting in anger so hot it made him see red. Now, with time and patience and way more therapy sessions than he'd ever admit to attending, he was beginning to see that Megan's death was no more Nathan's fault that it was his own. Life handed you crappy cards sometimes and there was no good explanation for it – blaming Nathan wasn't going to make Megan come back and he knew his friend had punished himself enough for what had happened.

"It's pretty serendipitous if you ask me. What are the chances of two people with the same battle wounds running into each other and falling for each other? It's fate – at least, I like to think so, maybe because I still want to believe in fate." Amelia looked over at Owen, locking eyes with him.

"Yeah – I'd like to believe in it too." Owen said quietly, his hand reaching across the table, resting on top of hers.


	9. Chapter 9

She came up with the idea while trying to balance three lunch bags, a set of sand toys and three jackets in her arms simultaneously. Meredith had a rare day off – the hospital sprinkler system had malfunctioned this morning, resulting in a full shut down of the OR's until the situation was remedied. She'd sent her nanny away, wanting a quiet day with her kids, but hadn't expected the chaos that came with wrangling her crew.

"Bailey, stop hitting your sister." Her son was smacking Zola with a shovel, howling with laughter as she shrieked dramatically. Ellis was meanwhile amusing herself, calmly sitting on the floor and using her chubby toddler fingers to pick dried, ancient Cheerios out from under the stove and shove in her mouth, dust bunnies and all.

"Mama, UP!" Ellis raised her hands in the air, apparently satisfied with her snack and ready to be carted off elsewhere. Meanwhile, Zola had managed to take control of the shovel and was now using it to 'comb' Bailey's hair, much to his dismay.

"What are you doing today?" She knew Nathan was likely home as well, although she wasn't so sure how he'd feel about spending the day with her kids, getting sand in his shoes and very likely, also in his hair.

"Not much – unexpected day off." He'd sounded eager on the phone when she'd proposed he join them in the park. Meredith hadn't mentioned time with the kids to Nathan before, waiting for the appropriate time. Now seemed like a good enough time as any – she definitely needed the help. She figured if he had just been a friend, another member of her hospital family, she'd have asked him for help without hesitation. But did the rules change when they were…a sort of thing? She wasn't sure. She'd never done this before – she'd asked Arizona once, many months ago before there was a real someone to introduce. Her friend had kept it simple – don't let someone in to their lives until you're sure you want them to stick around. She wanted Nathan to stick around – this much she was sure of – so she figured it was time he realize what being with her really meant.

"Come on, get your shoes on." She hustled the two older children to the front door, Ellis hanging off of her, kicking her bare feet in resistance as Meredith attempted to slide on her Croc's.

"Ahh – Hi!" She'd opened the door just in time to see Nathan standing there, hand outstretched towards her doorbell.

"Hey. I figured I'd meet you here in case you needed help on the way." He was oddly nervous about this, more nervous than he'd been on their dinner date or other occasions. Nathan had of course met her kids during previous visits to her house and had seen her with them at the hospital daycare. But this was different – he'd never done anything like this before.

"Oh, thank God. Here – take this one." Meredith handed him Ellis rather unceremoniously, turning her attention to the other two, who were now fully engaged in sand toy warfare.

"Hi." Ellis seemed unphased at the transfer, her blue eyes staring intently at Nathan as she sucked on her fingers, a habit Meredith had unsuccessfully been trying to break.

"Hello." Nathan replied, rather simply. Ellis smiled at him, pulling her fingers from his mouth and promptly running them through his hair, giggling as he flinched inadvertently at her attempts to comb his hair.

"Guys, this is my friend Nathan. He's going to go with us to the park. Sound good?" The two older kids nodded, while Ellis remained fascinated with Nathan's hair, finding herself thrilled at playing with the real thing versus her Barbie's, most of which now sported a buzz cut.

"Hi Nathan! I'm Zola. Nice to meet you." She stuck her hand out formally, Nathan bending down to shake it. Meredith loved her daughter's spunk – she'd recently learnt how to shake hands at school and had spent the last month introducing herself to everyone, even those she knew well, just for the chance of a handshake.

"Mama!" Bailey gestured down to his mother. Meredith leaned down, conscious of how shy her son could be around new people. Upon hearing her son's quiet words, a smile spread across her face.

"Everything ok?" Nathan asked tentatively, acutely aware of the interaction.

"He wants you to know he's happy you're hear because you're a boy and you can protect him from all the girls." She told him, smirking, watching as Nathan's face relaxed.

"Ok, let's go guys!" Meredith led the way to her car.

"Hiiiiiiiiiiii!" Ellis had stopped her combing and was now burying her face into his hair, taking deep sniffs. Nathan was happy he'd bothered to shower this morning, given this thorough inspection.

"Oh, God she's got this thing with hair. Ellis, come on sweetheart!" Meredith extracted her youngest from Nathan, much to her protest, strapping her in to the car seat.

"Ok guys – remember the rules: you stay where I can see you, you don't eat anything you find on the ground and no fighting!" The minute the car seats were unbuckled, the three descended onto the playground.

"Let's build a castle!" Zola shrieked, plopping herself into the sand, with her siblings following suit.

"You should go get me some good sticks. All castles need a fence to keep bad guys away." She said seriously to Nathan, finally acknowledging his presence. Meredith smiled at her oldest – she really wasted no time getting to know people before deciding that they existed to serve her. It was cute now, but she was already worried for how she'd handle her teenage years!

"I guess these will do. Now, Mommy you have to help me fill the buckets." Zola placed an empty bucket in front of each of her siblings and the adults.

"She's a tough critic. I thought my stick selection was excellent if I do say so myself." Nathan commented quietly to Meredith as he filled his bucket.

"She takes after her mother. You're also pretty behind at bucket filling." She said, slyly tipping his bucket and empting have the sand back out onto the playground.

"I'm being sabotaged! I now see why you needed me here." He winked at Bailey, producing a quiet giggle in the little boy.

"Zola, can the castle have Hot Wheels?" Bailey asked, bored with sand filling and now focused on his cars instead.

"No! Castles don't have cars, Bails. They have knights and dragons and cool stuff. No cars." Bailey sighed, accepting his fate. He was quiet and subdued, often overshadowed by his exuberant baby sister and his bossy older sister. He reminded Meredith a lot of her own little sister Lexie – the quiet kindness, his deep, intelligent nature.

"How about we build a race car castle next door to this castle? I mean, the only thing better than one cool castle is TWO castles!" Nathan was good with kids. He'd grown up surrounded by cousins and family, many of whom were younger than him. His brother had 3 kids and he loved visiting with them. For a long time, he wasn't sure about having his own – kids tied you down and he was by nature not someone who liked staying in one place for too long. But as he got older, as Megan came along and his priorities shifted, he'd began to look forward to having a family, although after she'd disappeared he'd once again given up on that dream. Now, being with Meredith's kids, he was reminded of those thoughts, his heart aching as the little boy jumped up and grabbed his hand, leading him to a new plot of sand in excitement.

"I guess two castles are good. But then we need a road to connect them! Mama, go get some rocks!" Zola was on a creative high, furiously building her empire. Ellis wandered between the two groups of siblings, occasionally trying to eat things she found in the dirt despite Meredith's watchful warning.

Meredith surveyed the scene, feeling a tightness in her chest. It looked so…right. Nathan gravitated between all three children, easily integrated into their play. She watched as he coerced a candy wrapper out of Ellis' chubby fist, instead replacing it with a sand toy, much less likely to result in a bowel obstruction. Zola leaned on his shoulder, peering at the castle Bailey was constructing, checking to make sure hers was still better. She remembered Derek in this role, the days they'd spent with their children remaining her most cherished memories. Meredith knew nothing would ever replace him – he was their father, her first true love, her everything. But she couldn't deny the happiness she felt in this moment, the happiness her children felt.

"Oh, what a beautiful family!" She turned her head, spotting an elderly couple coming down the path, smiling as they looked at her brood. She smiled back – they weren't quite a family yet, but maybe, just maybe they one day could be.

* * *

"Man, that was exhausting. I think I have sand in all the wrong places. And ketchup too." They were washing dishes in her kitchen, all three kids tucked in bed. After the park, Meredith had had a rare moment of domesticated bliss and had whipped up from French fries and chicken strips for them all. Nathan had been a life saver – he'd put up with Ellis' ketchup fingerpainting, helped clean up after Zola knocked over her plate of fries and had even consoled Bailey, who shed big, fat tears at the fact that there was not enough food left over for third helpings.

"Welcome to my life. Although, I'm lucky – there's lots of help around here. I don't know how real single moms do it." She was the first to admit her situation was unique and she was fortunate – she actually refused to even refer to herself as a 'single' mom, considering Alex, Maggie, Amelia and so many more of her colleagues were always around to help.

"They're great little kids – you've all done a spectacular job of making them into awesome, tiny humans." Nathan mused, genuinely impressed at the kindness and intelligence of the three Grey youngsters.

"I think they're just like that on their own, actually. They make me better. You're good with them – I thought they might freak you out." She admitted to him. After all, he as a single good looking man and she had enough baggage to fill an entire airport, even without delving into the fact that she was a mother of three.

"Freak me out? No – not at all! They're a big part of your life, of course. I'm happy you let me meet them today. Thank you." He put down his dish rag, closing the distance between them. Meredith smiled, leaning into his kiss.

"Hi." They pulled apart sharply, interrupted by Maggie's voice, standing in the doorway, face hard and expressionless.

"Maggie – you're back? Hey…um…" Meredith could feel her flushing. She hadn't seen her sister at home in several days now, her only interactions being briefly in the hospital.

"I wanted to talk to you." Maggie said, keeping her distance in the doorway.

"I'll head out to give you guys – " Nathan started.

"No – I wanted to talk to you both." She cut him off abruptly, her voice steady. This was awkward, it was taking every ounce of her energy to not turn around and bolt out of here. She'd prepared her monologue in her call room, downed two shots of tequila on the driveway and thought she was ready. But walking in on the tender moment between the two of them – it had shaken her confidence a bit, her feelings of anger and deceit roaring back to life.

"I get it, okay. You guys have a thing – a connection – because of similar pasts and shared heart break. I get it and I'm…going to try and…forgive. You both are my friends – family even – and I will…move on. But – I need some time, okay? Just…it's been a hard year." She started strong but could feel her voice falter towards the end.

"Maggie…" Meredith crossed her kitchen, the pained look on her sisters face hard for her to witness.

"I'm sorry for what I said, Mer. It was in anger and I'm sorry. And Nathan – I'm sorry for how I treated you in the OR. It was unprofessional and just wasn't very nice. That won't happen again. I need to…move on." Both of them were standing by her now, making it harder for her to keep eye contact. She clenched her jaw, determined to keep her head up and finish this.

"I'm moving out. Not right away – I need to find a place, because maybe Weber can do it but I just can't live in the call rooms. I'm pretty sure I have athlete's foot from using the change room showers! Anyways – I need to move out. It's not just because of…this. It's everything - I'm a grown woman and I need to start living like one. I'll still visit and I'd like to still hang out with the kids – but I can't live here anymore." Meredith nodded quietly at this revelation.

"Ok. I'm going to go upstairs and take a long, private, fungus-free shower and then I'm going to close my door, put in my earplugs and sleep in my big, comfy bed. Goodnight." She turned around, stomping up the stairs before either of them could say anything.


	10. Chapter 10

This chapter is pure PWP - because it's been tooooo long

* * *

"Dr. Riggs, I have a patient I'd like you to see." Meredith wove her way around a group of nurses, ignoring the knowing looks they were giving her. It was 5 pm, her OR had ended an hour ago and she'd been waiting on Nathan to finish up in his post-op follow up clinic for nearly 20 minutes now. She'd peeked in earlier – he was attentively working with one of the surgical residents, a blonde she didn't recognize.

"Uh, sure! Melissa, are you ok to finish dictating the last few patient notes?" Melissa batted her eyelashes and nodded, her rather large breasts thrust towards him. This was supposed to be a professional setting – Meredith didn't understand why this girl felt the need to wear heels and a low cut, mid-thigh dress to see patients. Nathan handed her the last few patient charts, totally oblivious to Melissa's stare or the way she purposely touched his hand in the transfer. Meredith glared at her, suddenly feeling overprotective. Nathan looked good – really good – the blue button up shirt that she'd always thought accented his shoulders so well and the dress pants that hugged the curve of his ass in a tantalizing way. This surgical intern bimbo apparently agreed.

"Dr. Riggs, I've got patients waiting." She said more tersely, even though she had no such thing. The intern had purposely dropped her pen and was definitely doing some form of the bend and snap. He handed her the last of the patient charts, entirely oblivious to her ploy and they headed towards the exit, Meredith setting a brisk pace.

"Who did you want to talk to me about? I heard there was a guy on your floor with dilated cardiomyopathy who – " He didn't get to finish his sentence as Meredith shoved him unceremoniously into an empty call room.

"There is no patient. I just had to get you away from Melissa before she impregnated herself with all your future children solely through the look she was giving you." She closed the door, automatically locking it, a habit she'd developed over the years of using call rooms for things other than sleep.

"Melissa? Really? Nah she's just eager to learn! She wants cardio and Pearce is too busy to take on interns so I've kinda been tasked with all the mentoring and – " Meredith silenced him with a kiss, making him step back towards the bed.

"Stop talking. Especially about the bimbo." She deepened the kiss, sliding her hands down to the pert ass she'd definitely been checking out since the first day she met him and bringing him closer.

"Are you…jealous?" Nathan pulled away, a mischievous smirk on his face. If someone had told him that Meredith Grey would be jealous of an intern hitting on him a few months ago – he would've thought they were crazy. But here she was – clearly annoyed, her hands roaming his body and causing his dress pants to grow tighter.

"No! I just think she should have some…respect! You have a girlfriend." She punctuated the sentence with a kiss and snaked her hand in between them, giving the growing bulge in his pants a squeeze.

"So you're my girlfriend now? Guess I better get rid of my Tinder, huh?" She shoved him onto the bed, rolling her eyes in response.

"I mean if you want me to be. I haven't had to have this conversation with anyone in a decade, so I'm not sure how things work." She was straddling him, slowly unbuttoning his dress shirt, using it as a distraction.

"Meredith, I would be honoured to accept your proposal of being my girlfriend." Nathan sat up, sliding her firmly into his lap, grinning ridiculously. She laughed and then leaned forward to kiss him, running her fingers into his hair and tugging gently, making his cock twitch at the memory of the last time she'd done that, when his head had been between her legs.

"Now, what are we doing here? Isn't this…kinda a public space?" Nathan was slightly confused as to why they were in the call room. Neither of them was on call. He also would definitely need a moment before he could go anywhere, if they were planning on heading back to his place – she'd worked him up enough that he was already hard, the outline obvious in his thin dress pants.

"What do you think we're doing here?" He really could be quite dim sometimes, she thought. She ditched her scrub top, revealing a lacey, translucent bra. She hadn't even picked this out for this purpose – it was laundry day and she was feeling lazy. But she had been thinking about this since her OR ended – while waiting for him, her mind had wandered and she'd worked herself up re-running their recent escapades through her head. Maybe that's why she'd been so worked up about Melissa.

"We're gonna…do it in the call room?" In all the hospitals Nathan had worked, before his military training, the call rooms were strictly reserved for…being on call. Most of those times he was on call, he was too tired to even think about sex!

"Yeah! You've never…?" Meredith couldn't remember a time before call room sex. It was just a normal part of her hospital experience – after all, why wouldn't you use a secluded, locked room full of beds to have sex?

"No! I mean people joked about it, but I didn't think that was actually a thing!" She'd pushed him down on his back again and was making quick work of his shirt. He moved to undo his zipper, wanting to free his growing erection, but she swatted his hand away.

"Welcome to Grey-Sloane – where it's definitely a thing." She leaned forward, kissing him first before trailing the kisses along his jaw line.

"This was definitely NOT in the welcome package." He closed his eyes as she finally undid his pants, his cock springing free. She wrapped her hand around him, stroking firmly as he groaned.

"I mean, it's probably a good thing Bailey didn't include this." Meredith laughed as he shot her a look that clearly indicated he wanted no mention of his boss in this moment. He could feel her hot breath on his sensitive head, the urge to wrap his hands in her hair and guide her down was strong.

"Oh God you're so good at that." She'd finally wrapped her mouth around him, taking him nearly to the base. He was impressed – he'd gathered from the women that he'd been with through the years that he was fairly well endowed and this particular skill wasn't in everyone's repertoire. He looked down, catching her eye as she used her hand to stroke the part of him that couldn't fit in her mouth. He noticed her other hand was lower, silently working at her clit while she bobbed her head, the wet sucking sounds filling the room.

"How about you have some fun too?" He sat up, her mouth coming off of him with a wet pop. He guided her on top of him, motioning for her to turn around.

"I haven't done this since I was in college." She said as she realized what he was doing.

"We are all about trying new things today – so why not 69 in a call room." Before she could reply, he sucked her clit into his mouth, noticing how wet she was already. She moaned loudly, forgetting where they were for a moment. Her hips instinctively lowered further onto his face as he scraped his teeth against her swollen clit. She'd actually always been shy about this position – after all, it was pretty compromising. But she wasn't thinking about that at all in this moment, feeling her wetness run down her thighs as he expertly used his tongue on her most sensitive parts.

"I should probably…contribute." She gasped as he slipped first one, then two fingers inside of her, her wetness audible. Her hand wrapped around his cock again, now leaking copious precum, helping her stroke him. She sucked his head into her mouth, running her tongue along the thick ridge and then trailing down to the pulsing veins on his shaft. He felt warm and velvety in her mouth, reminding her of why she enjoyed doing this so much in the past.

"So…close." He grunted as she continued her ministrations, his cock pulsing in her mouth. She was riding his face in earnest now, one of his calloused hands on her hip guiding her movements. He loved how unabashed she was, how amazing she tasted, that she was letting him do this with no second thoughts.

"Where…can I…" He'd learned back in high school it was always polite to ask, having experienced the wrath of a girl when you just assumed. She didn't say anything but started to speed up her pace, her lips growing tighter around his shaft and her hands making quick work of his swollen balls. He turned his attention back to her clit, knowing she was close by the shaking of her thighs and her moans, muffled by his cock.

"Ahhh!" She was ready for his release, slowing as he filled her mouth. She followed the twitches of his hips, swallowing every last drop. She gave him a few slow tugs as he started to soften, causing him to cry out further in pleasure.

"You've been having orgasms all week. Where did all of that come from?" She turned herself around, straddling his half-hard cock, enjoying the view – he looked spent, his brow coated with sweat, his face glistening with her own pleasure and hair tousled.

"You're making me so horny all the time, apparently my body is reacting." He pulled her down beside him, running his hands across her nipple and pausing to tug on it gently, much to her pleasure.

"We're not done." He whispered in her ear, his hand sliding down between her legs, where she was still throbbing with need. He slipped two fingers inside, curling them upwards while his thumb worked on her clit. He took a nipple in his mouth, circling and toying with the hard nub.

"Tell me what to do." She knew herself best, he reckoned and he was keen to learn.

"You're doing a great job on your own." Her eyes were closed, her lips parted in pleasure.

"I wanna do better." He said, knowing she was close but not quite there yet.

"Use your mouth. On my clit. Yeah – like that but harder – yeah oh God." He was following her instructions to a tee. Sliding a sticky finger out of her, he trailed down lower, circling her back entrance silently, awaiting her reaction.

"Yeah…do it." She moaned, spreading her legs to give him better access. Meredith had done that with Derek before – of course, while drunk the first time, but the next time, on his birthday, it had been her idea while entirely sober. Now as Nathan used his wet finger to gently enter her, she remembered how much she liked this.

"Don't stop." She gripped his hair, keeping him where she wanted him. With his mouth on her clit and his finger working her back entrance, she could feel her orgasm building.

"Come for me, Mer." His words took her over the edge, the spasms of pleasure rocking her body. She cried out, burying her face into a pillow to stifle her moans. He stayed with her, the rocking of her hips guiding his movements until she finally stilled, her body sated and her mind blown.

"Ok, I endorse this use of call rooms. Excellent choice, Grey Sloane." He came up to lay beside her, exhausted and happy.


End file.
